Drop Dead, Gorgeous
by Belladonna Andromeda
Summary: Naruto risked it all by moving to Japan, hoping to start of new life. But there is a dark side to this new life. Unbeknownst to him, there is a wicked game being played and he's the prize. Fem-Sasu.
1. Pen Friends

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Drama/Humor/Erotica/Romance

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairings – Undecided (you're not supposed to know yet – it's a surprise!... or maybe a vote.)

Summary – Naruto buys a one-way ticket to Japan in the hopes of beginning a new life with the help of Sakura, a long-time pen friend. He ends up trapped in a hurricane of lust, jealousy, love, danger and secrets.

WARNING!

 _Rating will go up in future chapters, but it will take a while for things to get steamy. Warnings for the story so far are: swearing, female Sasuke, het/yuri/yaoi/bi, love triangles (more like a major love hexagon), (possible) Incest, drop dead gorgeous Uchiha siblings, lots and lots of drama. You have been warned._

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Chapter Pairings – (slight) NaruSaku, (Slight/one-sided) SakuSasu

Chapter Warnings – Swearing, (slight) Yuri

Chapter Rating – M

000

Sakura was used to being exhausted. At least, that's what she told herself as she dragged her tired body into a cafe and over to a table. She mumbled her order to the waitress, praying she wouldn't pass out before got home.

After making sure she wasn't a zombie, the waitress went to get her coffee, nearly colliding with a tall blond that had just burst through the door.

Sakura groaned, her headache increasing as the blond loudly apologized and took a seat at the table right in front of her. She glared at him, but flinched when he responded with a bright smile that made her realize just how handsome he was.

He was very tall. He towered over the rest of the people in the café, some who were openly gawking at him. He was also very muscular, his arms were ripped and she could see hints of an unfinished tattoo sleeve peeking out under his hideous tie-dye t-shirt. His light blond hair was thick with natural highlights and in a messy haircut. He was tanned which betrayed the fact that he either lived somewhere sunny or spent a lot of time travelling to warm places. But the most eye-catching feature of the guy was his face. His eyes were bright blue and almond-shaped, and his cheekbones were high, which told her that he wasn't entirely Caucasian. And that smile of his could cure world hunger.

Her heart skipped a beat when he aimed it at her after he was done chatting up the waitress. She frowned at him as he walked to her table and sat opposite her. She wondered momentarily if this was a prank. Despite her best efforts to freshen up a bit before meeting her friend, she still looked like hell after a tough day at work. She glared suspiciously at him.

"Rough day?" He asked in perfect Japanese with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry 'bout that. I didn't mean to bother you or anything."

Sakura simply nodded, stunned at how her negativity had seemingly bounced off of him. Maybe the guy really did like her. She became a little hopeful. Maybe he was trying to flirt with her.

"I'm actually looking for a friend. We're supposed to meet up, but I don't know what she looks like so I thought you-"

Sakura blinked at him. "Naruto?"

The blond paused before replying with, "Sakura?! So it _is_ you. For a second I thought I had the wrong person. I remember you saying in one of your e-mails that you had dyed your hair pink, but when you didn't recognize my voice I got worried that I'd made a mistake."

The hot blonde's name was Uzumaki Naruto. They became pen friends during Sakura's last year in college. It had been part of some social experiment. The students had to draw a piece of paper on which a random country would be written. At first, she had been extremely disappointed when she had gotten The Netherlands. She had been convinced she would end up with some middle-aged pervert looking for a mail-order bride and since pictures weren't allowed it made her even more uncertain, but it turned out she had been the luckiest in her class.

Naruto was a photojournalist born in the Netherlands. His mother was half Irish, half Spanish and his father was Brazilian. A nature and animal enthusiast with a love for travel and exotic food, he had started out as an amateur, taking pictures of the modest wildlife in Dutch water areas. His e-mails had been very detailed and she could still remember how much she looked forward to him describing all the places he'd been to and the people he had met. He would often compare them to animals he'd seen.

According to him, Sakura was a sugar glider – highly social (her popularity at school), it was nocturnal and highly active at night (a nod to her clubbing habits), it had a surprisingly strong bite (she was stronger than she looked) and it could glide across the length of a football field (symbolizing her decision to break free from her tiger-mom and pursue a career in fashion photography). Naruto was the one who had encouraged her from the moment he told her.

Sakura had always imagined him as a feral horse. A proud stallion prancing and running freely throughout a grassy plain with a magnificent mane and chestnut coat. In all honesty, she had always harbored a secret attraction towards him and his adventurous lifestyle. Naruto had managed to turn his hobby into his job, his passion and talent with wildlife giving him great success.

Unlike Sakura. All she had accomplished since quitting medical school was getting into trouble. Embarrassed by her lack achievements, she had ended up telling him that she was working together with an upcoming fashion designer on a huge project and things were looking promising.

"How have you been?" Naruto asked after ordering a glass of water.

"I'm hanging in there."

Naruto smiled. His teeth seemed impossibly white against his tanned skin. "Been busy with work, huh?"

"You could say that." Sakura said, laughing nervously. "But enough about me, how are you doing? I was kind of surprised when you said you wanted to meet me."

Naruto put on an innocent face. "What do you mean?"

Sakura gave him a look. "You weren't anywhere near Japan when you sent that e-mail. You were in Australia with that girlfriend of yours. Whatserface. And for the past three months, you've been giving me short replies which is totally unlike you, if you replied at all."

Naruto's smile faltered and for a moment Sakura was worried that she might have said something she shouldn't have. "Yeah, you're right. There is something."

"What? What happened? Are you alright?"

Naruto's handsome face was suddenly drained of its enthusiastic energy. "Remember what I said about Stephanie? That I had thought she might be the one?"

"Yes, what happened? You broke up?" She said, trying not to sound happy.

"Yeah. I caught her doing some shady stuff. She's been selling some of my reports and photos to other companies. Writing false articles in my name to promote things she knows I don't approve of. Stuff like that."

Sakura gasped. "She _didn't_."

Naruto gave a dry laugh. "And that's not even the worst part. After I broke up with her she started spreading the rumor that my love for animals is beyond friendly, if you know what I mean, and that's why _she_ broke up with _me_."

Sakura choked on her coffee. "She told everyone you were a _zoophile_?"

Naruto glared at her. "I'm _not_ a zoophile!"

"I know you're not." Sakura snapped back. "But... people actually believed her? For real?"

"I know, right." Naruto hissed, angrily snatching his glass of water from the waitress. The woman huffed and strutted away, mumbling insults under her breath. "And then she had the nerve to sue me for putting her through 'traumatic experiences' or some shit. The bitch reaped thousands of dollars from me on top of everything!"

Sakura shook her head. She was going to put in one of her own insults, but decided to let Naruto blow some steam. Besides, she was too tired to be fuming. She was surprised she had enough energy to _care_.

"And because of her I lost my contract with National Geographic and nobody will hire me anymore." Naruto finished. "Fuck, and now I'm left with a building debt, a busted ego and a few friends short, wondering what on earth I had ever seen in her. She wasn't even that pretty."

"A few friends short?" That caught Sakura's attention.

"Well, they weren't really friends if they believed the rumor. They would know better."

"So you're here to cool down a bit." Sakura finished for him. "Get away from the people who're accusing you of being something you're not."

"And to find a job." Naruto said. Spotting the look on her face, he added, "I was hoping you would be able to help me with that."

Sakura froze. She couldn't even reply. Naruto saw the color drain from her face and suddenly began to look a little desperate.

"You work in fashion photography, don't you? Can't you, like, score me a job too. I'm sure it's not that different from wildlife photography. It's much less dangerous for one. I mean, you just have to take a few snapshots of some skinny bitches. I could do that." Naruto's expression turned more desperate as Sakura remained silent, "Please, Sakura, I _need_ a job. I have a lot of debts to pay and no income. I _need_ this. No one will hire me because of the rumors. _Please_."

Sakura barely heard him. She was lost in her own thoughts. The guy had come all the way to Japan, thinking she could give him a job because he believed she already worked in photography. And she didn't. She had never thought that one little lie could do so much damage.

"Naruto," Sakura began slowly, "I work in the fashion industry."

"I know." He replied as if she'd told him not all roses were red. "It can't be that difficult. I mean, I'm already a professional photographer. How hard could it be?"

Sakura fought against the urge to shriek. How was she supposed to tell him that he had flown all the way here for nothing. That she couldn't help him.

"What do you know about fashion?" She said, after calming down.

Naruto frowned. He looked offended. "More than you think I do."

Sakura's expression was still skeptical as she subtly looked at his multi-colored T-shirt, his faded jeans and orange-black sneakers. She snorted, immediately thinking how her boss would have a field day destroying everything that kept Uzumaki Naruto sane.

Naruto caught her look. "Do I really need to know?"

She was tempted to tell him to give up and try looking somewhere else, but she couldn't. He had probably given up his last savings to pay for the flight to Japan and when she saw the desperate plea for help in his eyes something in her chest began to hurt. She knew Naruto was proud so having to ask for help was probably one of the most difficult things he'd ever done. And he was the guy who had climbed snowy mountains to take a picture of some rare bird.

She sighed, willing herself to look away from those damned puppy eyes. She could always ask her boss if he was worth hiring. "I can arrange an interview for you, but you'll have to do the rest yourself."

Naruto launched forwards unexpectedly and pulled Sakura into a tight bear hug. "Oh, you utter beauty, you. Thank you!"

"Don't thank me just yet." Sakura managed to gasp. She resisted slumping against his muscular chest. He was warm and surprisingly soft. He smelled like the beach.

Naruto pulled back and reseated himself, but his flashlight grin didn't disappear. "Yeah, I know. Don't cheer until I get the job."

Sakura giggled nervously. "Yeah, besides that… there's something I need to tell you."

Naruto stopped bouncing in his seat. "What?"

Sakura remained silent for a while, wondering whether she should tell him or not, before she blurted out, "I haven't been entirely honest with you about what I do for a living."

Naruto blinked, "Come again?"

Sakura bit her lip. "I'm… not a photographer just yet."

Naruto stared at her for a long time. "What do you mean with 'just yet'? You told me you were working on this big project and that-"

"I know!" Sakura interrupted, "And I'm sorry. If I had known that this would happen I would have never told you that."

"So that was a lie." Naruto said slowly. He sighed heavily. His jaw became tense. "What exactly _do_ you do for a living?"

"I work at the Mangekyo Fashion House as an assistant."

Naruto flinched. "Assistant work?! Are you _kidding_ me?!"

Sakura recoiled. "It's not that bad. I can still get you an interview."

Naruto wasn't listening. He had dropped his head into his hands, looking like he was about to cry. "Oh god, no…"

"Naruto…" Sakura said slowly, regretting her lie more than ever. "My boss is a very influential person. She could get you a job."

Naruto lifted his head slightly. "And just who is your boss?"

"Sasuke." Sakura said, feeling her fatigue return just as the mention of her boss's name. "Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. " _Uchiha_? The Uchihas? As in _the_ Uchiha clan?"

Sakura nodded. "As in, the founders and owners of Uchiha Inc., one of the wealthiest families in the world etc."

She could see Naruto doing some fast thinking. He mumbled something to himself that sounded like 'could work out'.

"Yeah." He lifted his head and inhaled deeply. "Sorry for freaking out. Thanks for helping me."

Sakura bit her lip. "No, not at all. I'm the one that lied to you and I'm so sorry for that."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, but I'm the idiot that lost everything, decided to spend the remainder of my fortune on a one-way ticket to Japan and dropped my problems onto your lap. It's okay, Sakura. I'm not mad. I realize it's a lot to ask."

"It's okay." Sakura shook her head and smiled, feeling relieved. "We've known each other for several years. Sort of."

"Yeah."

Sakura fidgeted. "I mean, it's kind of flattering that you put so much faith in me even though you've never actually met me in person."

Naruto smiled, but said nothing. Sakura returned the weak smile, realizing that it had probably been an act of desperation and not faith. She sighed, feeling her migraine return.

"So what is this Sasuke like?" Naruto began after a moment of awkward silence. "Is she the typical rich snob that thinks the world revolves around her?"

Sakura fished around in her bag for the box of painkillers. "Worse."

Naruto laughed in disbelief. "That bad? What kind of animal would she be?"

"Praying mantis, probably. Or a snake."

"Poisonous or constrictor?"

"Both."

He choked on his water. "A man-devourer then?"

Sakura chuckled tiredly. If he only knew… "A devourer in general more like. I mean, she's absolutely gorgeous but, sometimes I think she's psychopathic. Her mood swings are a killer."

"So what is the best way for me to tackle this interview? Offer myself as sacrifice?" Naruto said with a smirk.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him. "Really? I just told you she was possibly a serial killer and you want to sleep with her to get a job?"

Naruto shrugged. "You said she was gorgeous. And, for the record, not all psychopaths are serial killers. Also I happen to be very good with women."

"I know. Some of your e-mails were a little too informative. But none of those skills are going to help you against the mortal reincarnation of Echidna." She knew she was exaggerating. He probably knew too, but somewhere deep down she hoped that it would prevent the inevitable.

"Hmmm, half nymph, half snake and known as the Mother Of All Monsters. Nice. If I seem nervous for my interview tomorrow it's just your imagination."

Sakura laughed. She hadn't been doing much of that lately, but Naruto always managed to put a smile on her face.

"Don't worry about it too much. Just be confident and brag about your skills like you always do. She senses fear like an apex predator."

Naruto smirked. "Apex predator, huh? Look at you, miss wildlife expert."

"Your fault."

"You are welcome." He said with a wink.

She laughed again. She didn't know how long they had talked, but the sun was starting to set. A part of her had wanted to invite Naruto over for something to eat, but she decided against it. By the time she reached her apartment she was exhausted. She kicked off her heels and threw her bag on the couch. She still had to call Sasuke.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the speed dial to her boss's personal phone. "Hello?"

"This had better be good, Haruno." Sasuke's smooth voice felt like an ice spear to the brain. It caused shivers and froze her insides.

"S-sorry to bother you at this time of night. I was just wondering if-" Sakura's timid stuttering was cut off by a man's deep voice. She couldn't quite make out what he said or who he was, but her boss hissed at him to stay quiet.

"You were wondering what?" The sound of her voice made it clear. She was daring her to ask who the man was.

She could've cried.


	2. Pink Mink

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairing – Undecided

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 _Pairing Chart:_

 _Slight NaruSaku = the romance/sexual tension is so miniscule it would be safer to say it's just two people interacting with the occasional spark._

 _Light NaruSaku = the romance/sexual tension is there, but it's still faint and not entirely consciously acted upon._

 _Moderate NaruSaku = there is definitely something going on there, but is it love, lust, temporary, permanent?_

 _One-sided NaruSaku = the feelings are or appear to be one-sided (duh)._

 _Mentions of NaruSaku = something has happened between them in the past._

 _Dubious NaruSaku = is there something going on or what?_

 _NaruSaku = there is absolutely something going on between them, but will it last?_

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Chapter Pairings – (Slight) NaruSaku, (One-sided) NaruSasu, (One-sided) SakuSasu, (Slight) NejiSaku

Chapter Warnings – Swearing

Chapter Rating – M

000

Sakura was nervous. She didn't even know why she was nervous. It wasn't even her damn interview. Stupid Naruto. Where was he anyway? Did he get cold feet? Did he get lost on his way to her apartment? Did he not have enough money for a cab? Oh god, she should have loaned him some money. What if he hadn't eaten anything? Sasuke was going to kill her if they were late.

Sakura jumped when the doorbell rang. She sped towards the door and yanked it open. She couldn't prevent the shriek of horror from leaving her mouth if she tried.

" _What are you wearing_?!" She didn't even know her voice could go that high.

Naruto blinked at her in surprise. He looked down at himself. "Uh, clothes?"

"Are you _insane_? You can't wear that! We're not going to the beach!" She stared at his clothes. Orange t-shirt, blue shorts, sneakers. "Honestly, this isn't Hawaii!"

"It's summer. The weather's nice." Naruto said weakly, pointing at the sky outside.

"You have a job interview with _my_ boss. You need to put on a suit." Sakura began to panic.

"Uh, that's a problem."

"Why? What are you talking about? Problem, how?"

"Calm down. It's not that bad. I just don't really… own a suit. That's all." Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Didn't think I would need one to be honest."

Sakura wondered if he realized how stupid he sounded. Nope. That had not been a joke. He was serious. For someone who had practically memorized the world map and spoke six languages, he was a moron. She had planned a job interview with her psycho boss for a _moron_.

"Uh, Sakura? You okay? You look pale."

She could order one online but it would never arrive in time. There were no shops on the way to work. Going downtown would take too much time. Arriving late at a job interview, especially this one, was not an option. They could borrow a suit…

"Neji!"

Naruto jumped. "What?"

"He always keeps spare suits in his office for emergencies. You can borrow one from him. You're about the same size. In the meantime, we need to find something else for you to wear as we go inside the building. You cann _ot_ be seen wearing that."

"Why? What's the big deal?"

"Naruto, it's a fashion house. What you wear is kind of important in the fashion industry. Don't touch that!"

Naruto put the picture back on the table and rolled his eyes. "I'm just applying to be a photographer. Not a model."

"Doesn't matter. You still need to look good. My boss will walk right back out the room if she sees you wearing orange." She ran around her apartment, looking for something that would cover up that atrocious t-shirt.

"But it's summer. Orange is a nice summer color, isn't it?" He looked genuinely confused. The poor thing. He had no idea what he had signed himself up for.

"Naruto, take it from me. You do not want to be seen wearing anything you have on right now." She said, picking up a mink coat. "Pink is in this season." She muttered to herself.

"Is that real fur?"

"No, can't afford it." She mumbled before it dawned on her. "Not that I would buy it if I could afford it." She added slowly with a weak giggle. She cringed at her own awkwardness.

Naruto gave her a look that told her he wasn't buying it and he wasn't happy about it. "You know what I think about fur."

Sakura sighed. "The fashion industry is not exactly animal friendly, Naruto. There is going to be a lot of fur and leather and baby lions being torn away from their mothers just so they can pose with a model in a photo that may or may not appear in some magazine somewhere."

"I do _not_ like the sound of that." Naruto said with a frown.

"You told me that you needed a job. I had to endure a lecture from Asian Maleficent to get you a job interview _and_ , from what I heard, you cannot really afford to be picky right now. So do you want this or not."

Naruto hesitated. He looked frustrated. "You're right. It goes against everything I stand for, but I need a job."

Sakura nodded. "Good. Now put this one. It should fit." She threw the mink coat at him.

He caught it out of reflex and stared at it in horror. "You want me to _wear_ this?"

"Yes. Now hurry up or we'll be late." Sakura hissed as she tried to grab her bag and her car keys, put on her shoes and fix her hair at the same time.

"It's neon-pink. And it's hot outside." Naruto held the coat between his fingers as if it were something disgusting. "I'm not wearing this and you can't make me."

"Wear it or you can walk."

"Ah, c'mon, you can't be serious?" He said, looking wide-eyed and pleading which reminded her of a puppy.

"Put it on." She said, managing to keep a straight face. She walked out the door before her determination faltered. Hearing him grumble, she couldn't help but chuckle and hoped he hadn't heard, but when he came out of her apartment wearing her fluffy neon-pink coat she lost it completely. He looked like a giant furby. She tried to tell him that but she was laughing so hard all she could do was point at him and try to breathe.

"This thing is hot and it itches." Naruto glowered at her. "Stop laughing."

"I –I'm…trying!" Sakura wheezed.

"We're going to be late and it'll be your fault."

Sakura nodded and headed to the elevator, still laughing.

000

"For the last time, Naruto, get out of the damn car!" Sakura snapped. She had been arguing with him for over ten minutes. She could see sweat dripping down his forehead and was beginning to worry he might overheat if he stayed in the car.

"No."

"Naruto, please. You can get hyperthermia."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"So get out of the car!"

"No. I'm not walking around in a pink coat for everyone to see."

"Do you honestly think they haven't seen stranger things around here. Last week I saw a fat dude with a beard wearing a Chanel skirt strut into the building like he was the queen of Sheba."

Naruto gave her a weird look. "You're making that up."

"Okay, that's it." Sakura reached inside, grabbed the coat and pulled Naruto onto the street. "Now get inside before you faint. You still need to put on a suit."

"My job interview is in two hours." Naruto said. He was swaying a little though maybe it was her imagination. "And we're already inside the building- whoa…."

Sakura allowed Naruto some time to take in the architectural wonder that was the Uchiha Fashion House entry hall. She could barely remember the first time she stepped inside, but she would never forgot the feeling of wonder and amazement.

Red wood wall panels marked with the Uchiha Clan symbol, yellow marble floors broken in two by an beautifully lit river filled with koi fish, high curved ceiling with embroidered silk sheets hanging from the elegant rafters accompanied by dozens of Japanese paper lamps that seemed to float in the air, large statues of historical fashion icons carved from mahogany, and a massive cherry tree in bloom. Combined with the sound of rushing water, the dim candle lights, the smell of rain in a forest meadow and the gentle whispers of people, it was like walking into a fairy tale.

"This is nice." Naruto sang, looking impressed. His eyes were big and bright with an almost childish admiration. It made him look even more like a furby. She suppressed an un-lady-like snort of amusement. "I was expecting a more modern interior. This surprised me. And the people..."

Sakura sighed. She had been amazed by this place once. She'd spent at least an hour admiring the entry hall alone. She had almost fallen into the indoor river checking out a male model dressed in traditional Indian clothing. She'd gawked at women in roman robes, children in colorful kimonos, men in Victorian suits – flamenco dresses, cowboy hats, showgirl outfits, war bonnets, kaftans – every single culture and era had passed through these halls.

That was before… Sakura closed her eyes. She forced herself not to think about. Seeing Naruto's excitement made her smile and remember a time she'd been happier, more naïve.

"Alright, it's time to go. We still need to get you into a suit."

"Yeah." Naruto breathed, distracted by a beautiful dark-skinned woman wearing a skimpy summer dress.

Sakura rolled her eyes, pulling him along. "Neji's office is high up."

"I really want to take some pictures of this place."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Something about an office floor." He said, leering at a pretty Latina in a skin-tight latex bodysuit this time.

Sakura glowered at him. When would he learn? "Stop that. This is what got you into trouble in the first place."

"What?"

"Beautiful women."

"Can't help it. They're my greatest weakness."

"Can't wait to see how you'll handle Sasuke." Sakura mumbled, pulling Naruto into the elevator. She ignored the sting in her chest, but couldn't help but wonder. Did he not find her beautiful? Maybe it was because he didn't want to ruin their friendship or perhaps their friendship made him blind to her womanly wiles. Whatever. She shook her head. No time. She had to mentally prepare for the challenge that would be Hyuuga Neji.

000

Neji was a mean one. Tall and handsome with long dark hair and eyes like lavender moons, he looked like he should have been walking the runway instead of sitting behind a desk. A pretty boy and a snob who couldn't have made it more obvious he didn't care if he tried. The way he glared at them reminded Naruto of an Eurasian eagle-owl. He appeared to be highly territorial and the longer they stayed in his office, the more annoying and snappier he became. There was a moderately-sized balcony behind the desk which looked like it was frequently used and made Naruto think of a bird's nest despite being almost sterile. He could envision Neji stepping over the railing and soaring around the building, scaring off strangers with his crystal stare.

"I said no. Get out and take your pink panda with you."

Naruto paled. He forgot that he was still wearing the coat. His face heated up. He must look like an idiot, trying to stand protectively and manly next to Sakura while the pink puffy mink. He swallowed, trying to pretend that he hadn't even noticed and there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Neji raised an eyebrow, looking mighty unimpressed.

"Please. It's really important. He needs a suit." Sakura pleaded for the seventh time before Naruto could ruin their chances by opening his mouth.

"Go buy one." Neji responded so fast, it was like he was expecting her to say that exactly then.

"We don't have time for that."

"And I don't have the time to deal with your incompetence. I'm busy."

"All I'm asking is if you'll lend us one of your spare suits. I can get it from your closet. You don't have to move a muscle."

"No."

"Neji-san. Please…"

Neji looked away from the computer screen on his clean desk. "Do I need to get a restraining order?"

"One small favor?" Sakura continued. She looked ready to go down on her knees.

Naruto had a hard time keeping quiet. He did not like the way the snob was talking to his friend. He did not like the sound of desperation in her face. He did not like remaining still and silent while Sakura made a fool of herself for him.

"No." Neji was not affected. The guy was carved from ice. Emotionless bastard. What he wouldn't give to send an uppercut to that smooth jawline.

"I won't leave." Sakura said, looking determined. "And neither is he. We're going to stay here and follow you around all day if you don't give us a damn suit."

Neji sighed, rubbing his temples. "One of these days I'm going to pluck each of your eyelashes with the sharpest tweezers I can find."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Sakura ran to the closet and pulled out an expensive-looking suit. "I'll give it back to you, I promise."

"Just get out." Neji snapped. He looked ready to bite Sakura in the leg for touching his things. Then he glared at Naruto. "And don't ever bring _him_ in my office again. His mere presence is making my headache worse."

Naruto glared at him in return before he was pushed out of the office. "He's an asshole."

"He's not that bad once you get to know him. He just a little overworked and he doesn't like strangers." Sakura dragged him to the nearest restroom.

"No excuse." He muttered.

Sakura sighed tiredly before shoving the suit in his arms. "We have better things to worry about. Go change. Fast."

She didn't have to tell him twice. He was more than happy to get out of the damn coat. He paused at the doorway. "Uh, Sakura?"

"Now what?"

"What about my shoes?" Both them glanced down at his favorite sneakers. They were comfortable, but he doubted they would look appropriate under the fancy work clothes.

"Pray she doesn't notice."

Okay then. He got changed as fast as he could and managed to do his tie within the first try. He was feeling rather good about it until he was accosted by Sakura.

"Oh god. She's _so_ going to notice. And the suit doesn't fit right. I knew I should've gone for the Burberry one." She looked frantic, pulling at his sleeves and straightening his lapels.

"It fits fine." He said, backing away. "Stop worrying. You're making me nervous."

"You should be nervous." She deadpanned.

Not what he wanted to hear. "Sure you're not overreacting?"

"Very sure."

Naruto flinched. "Congratulations, you've made me nervous. Why'd you have to make me nervous? I get nauseous when I'm nervous."

Sakura's brilliant green eyes widened in alarm. "Don't vomit."

"Not helping." Naruto moaned, clutching his abdomen. He gagged.

"Here, drink this." Sakura pulled a bottle of water out of her ridiculously large handbag. Naruto snatched it out of her hand and drank in large gulps. "Steady. Don't choke. Does it help?"

"Yeah, for about thirty minutes."

"Naruto, I love you. But if you puke on my boss I will personally kick you back to Holland. All the way back to your German roots."

"Technically, it's called the Netherlands. Holland is just a part of the country. And they don't speak German there. It's a common misconcep…tion." Naruto shrunk under her intense gaze. "Sorry. Did I mention I talk a lot when I'm nervous?"

"Just be professional, answer all of her questions and refer to her as Sasuke-san. Try not to stutter, be confident and all that. Those are all the tips I can give you for now."

Naruto allowed Sakura to drag him back to the elevator. As he tried to keep up with the girl's pace, which had increased tenfold, he caught a glimpse of long-legged blond in a shiny black dress applying lip-gloss in the ladies' restroom. He cringed when he saw how skinny she was. It was one of those things he didn't understand or like about the fashion world. It was robbing women of their beautiful curves, brainwashing them into thinking they were unattractive unless they were walking skeletons.

"Shit. We have to go back. Karin just texted me. Sasuke wants to interview you in the conference room." Sakura growled, looking panicked.

"Oh." He wasn't given the chance to say anything else before being dragged back towards the elevator. The rest of the way was a blur. He remembered a Chinese dragon being panted on a wall by two elderly men and a delivery boy with weird eyebrows, but that was it.

"Alright, we're here. Sit down. Get comfortable. She'll be here any second."

Naruto couldn't remember the last time he had fidgeted on a job interview. He was confident by nature and he firmly believed he had reasons to be. He was good at what he did. There was no reason to freak.

Unfortunately, Sakura did not share his thoughts.

"Oh god, your hair's a mess. And your nails look horrible. And did you even _shave_."

Naruto felt like the very meaning of confidence was fading from his world with every passing second. He looked at his nails, wondering what was wrong with them. His hair was always messy because every attempt to tame his blond mane ended up making it look worse. And women usually liked the five-o'clock-shadow look on his face.

"She's not really going to notice all these things is she?"

"She works at one of the largest fashion businesses in the world. What do you think?"

Naruto blanched. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"Oh no, you're not. You are not running away now. Not now that my head is on the line too."

"I'm getting kinda scared here."

"You have reasons to be." Sakura said unhelpfully.

Naruto was about to retort when the doors slammed open making both Sakura and himself jump out of their seats.

"Sasuke! So glad you could make it. This is Uzumaki Naruto, the one I've been telling you about." Sakura said in one breath while he barely managed an audible 'hi'.

Naruto stood paralyzed as he studied the two women in front of him. One of them was the same blond girl he'd seen applying makeup in one of the rooms they'd passed. She had apparently also managed to do her hair and change outfits in the meantime. Her platinum blond hair was in a high ponytail and her icy-blue eyes were framed by impossible straight bangs. She had exchanged her party dress for a black-and-white one with a more professional look to it. She gave him a bored look.

"Sasuke-san will be arriving shortly." She droned. She left before he had time to decide which animal she reminded him of.

"Thanks Ino." Sakura breathed out, visibly more relaxed.

Naruto slumped back into his chair, trying to ignore his rapid heartbeats. He focused on the other girl still standing in the room. She was chewing gum loudly as if she was trying to annoy them on purpose. Her red hair looked freshly done, falling down in almost perfect curls. Her skimpy outfit seemed out of place in the sophisticated hallways. Pumps, thigh-high stockings, leather shorts and a purple cropped top left little to the imagination. Her glasses somehow added to the provocative outfit.

His guard went up when she stopped chewing and looked him over. He wasn't overly fond of redheads. They reminded him of his temperamental mother. Every time he saw one he'd feel the urge to comb his hair, clean his room and walk straight.

"This him?" She asked Sakura eventually, pointing at him like he was a wet dog dripping on her carpet.

"Yes." Sakura gave her a weak smile. "Could you give us some water?"

The girl just stared at her.

"Please, Karin."

"She's in a good mood today. You're lucky." Karin said as if she hadn't heard the question. She flipped her curls back and left, disappearing into the mob of people that suddenly flooded the hallway as if they were running for their lives.

"Shit, she's here!" Sakura almost dislocated his arm with the force she used to hoist him out of his chair. "Remember what I said. Just be calm and confident and- Sasuke-san! So nice of you to come. This is Uzumaki Naruto. The one I told you about yesterday. He's been very excited to meet you."

Sakura's anxiety was contagious. He couldn't even hear what she was ranting about anymore and had already forgotten her advice. What was it again? Calm and what? He swallowed thickly before turning to the doorway.

And suddenly he understood.

He had seen many beautiful women from all over the world. A pair of giggling Chinese twins who's youthful faces and hair ornaments made him think of two cute red pandas. A strong-willed Malian mother of three with long legs and sharp cheekbones reminding him of a graceful gazelle. A dancer from Trinidad and Tobago who's colorful dress and passionate moves resembled the mating dance of the Raggiana bird-of-paradise. But this was.. different.

There was an animal native in Central Asia. It's beauty had made it the victim of mankind who hunted it for its stunning pelt. _Panthera Uncia_ was endangered species like many big cats. A solitary creature known for being secretive and shrouded in mysteries. Never had there ever been an animal that had struck him dumb with its sheer beauty until Naruto had trekked the Pamir Mountains writing a short-documentary about Marco Polo sheep and saw the breath-taking sight of a prowling snow leopard.

Uchiha Sasuke was a snow leopard.


	3. Rumor Has It

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – NC17

Main Pairing – Undecided

Summary – Naruto buys a one-way ticket to Japan in the hopes of beginning a life with the help of a long-time pen friend. He ends up trapped in a hurricane of lust, jealousy, love, danger and secrets.

000

 _A/U – The story's not getting a lot of reactions. Practically none. I wonder why. I'm uploading a lot right now, but there is a week-long festival coming up which I will be attending and immediately after that I'm going on vacation so I won't have a lot of time to write and upload shit. Tell me what you guys think and vote for the pairing you'd like best._

000

Chapter Pairings – (Slight) NaruSaku, (One-sided) NaruSasu, (One-sided) SakuSasu, (One-sided) InoIta, (Dubious) ItaSasu

Chapter Warnings – Swearing

Chapter Rating – M

000

He was staring. Very obviously, downright _leering_. He hoped he wasn't drooling. Fuck, he had to say something. Introduce himself? Didn't Sakura already do that? Why wasn't anyone talking? Since when had everything gone so quiet? What happened? Wait, what?

Naruto almost bit off his tongue when Sakura elbowed him sharply in the ribs, urging him to say something. Anything.

"Ug." He managed. He felt his body go numb with embarrassment as an uncomfortable heat spread across his cheeks. His eyes couldn't decide whether to see clearly or blur everything out. His stomach was doing funny flip-flops and desperately tried not to eject his breakfast onto the table. And his brain… his brain had just died. It was dead as a doornail. Rolled over onto its back and gave a final twitch.

He was, in a way, happy she wasn't looking at him. Sasuke seemed preoccupied firing a meteor storm of subtle insults into her cell phone. A part of him sighed dreamily at her creativity while another part cringed and felt sorry for whoever was on the other line. He faintly heard her mention 'nii-san' before her amused smirk dropped. She growled 'aniki' into the phone along with an angry rant that went too fast for his short-circuited brain to follow.

Then she smashed the phone to the floor. The sound of it shattering to pieces jumpstarted his brain back into functioning. Sort of.

"What?" She hissed at them. Aw, she got so mad she forgot why she came here, so cute.

"T-the interview?" Sakura stuttered.

Sasuke's night-sky eyes narrowed. She looked irritated. If she had been in a good mood before she sure wasn't now. He wondered if it had something to do with 'nii-san'. Or maybe it was him. He hoped it wasn't him.

"Um… Uzumaki Naruto?" Sakura tried again when her boss didn't answer. "Wants to work in photography?"

"I need a new phone." Sasuke drawled eventually.

It took a while for Naruto to get the exact meaning behind her words, but Sakura understood immediately. Sasuke wanted her to leave. She grabbed her bag and bolted out of the room, sending him a 'good luck' sign before she closed the door.

Now he was stuck in a room with an apex predator blocking the only exit. He giggled nervously, cringing inwardly at the sound.

Sasuke's frown deepened. She gazed at him. Something about the way she pursed her lips told him she was very much aware that the suit wasn't his. She made a 'tsk' noise that made him jump as she walked over the broken pieces of her once expensive-looking cell phone and took a seat opposite him. "Papers?"

Naruto didn't know how long he stood there before the sentence registered, but it was long to earn him an annoyed look. He stuttered out an apology and looked around for a nonexistent briefcase. His face heated up again. Sakura had it in her bag. He had given it to her in the car. Shit.

"S-sorry. I don't have it on me right now. Saku-"

"It's right in front of you."

Naruto blinked. Oh. Yeah. Ha ha?

Sasuke snatched the papers out of his head with an irritated sneer that made him flinch. "You're a wildlife photojournalist. Why the sudden career change?"

"Didn't really have a choice." He blurted out before thinking.

Sasuke glanced at him. She put his résumé back on the table and folded her hands together. He tried not to stare at her cleavage. He really did. "You don't have an interest in fashion."

It wasn't a question, but he still said: "No." Like an idiot. It was better than replying with 'I am now' with a flirty grin which he would've usually done if his brain was working.

"You've never worked in the fashion industry. You have no experience working with human models." She continued. "I doubt you can name a single fashion brand or designer. You probably don't even know who made the suit you're wearing because it's borrowed. And the only reason you're even sitting across from me is because you happen to know someone who works for me."

Naruto shrank under her gaze. "Um."

"Why should I hire you?"

He was blank. He had had an entire list ready before she walked into the room. He had practiced this. He had been prepared for these questions. C'mon, brain. It was in there somewhere. She was still staring at him, looking impatient.

"I… I'm hard-working." Naruto began. He exhaled shakily and forced himself to relax. He felt himself spurred on by an insatiable need to impress her. "I'm good with people and familiar with difficult shooting locations. I learn fast. Photography is my passion and my talent. I might be unconventional and shaky at first, but I will not let you down."

Sasuke actually seemed to consider it, to his relief. Her sultry, heavy-lidded eyes narrowed in thought and she bit her lip lightly. He wondered if she realized she was giving him bedroom eyes. It made him squirm. He cursed, willing his raging hormones to settle down. The last thing he needed was getting an erection during a job interview.

"Name a photographer." She said suddenly.

"Hatake Kakashi." Naruto answered. "I saw his World Press photo when I was young. He had won the People category with a photo of an aboriginal tribe in Australia and wrote a short article on how they were forced to conform to tourism. It's what inspired me to become a photojournalist. He went out of the business a few years back due to an eye injury."

"I know. He works for us now."

Naruto went rigid. He tried to hold back his inner fanboy, and failed horribly. " _The_ Hatake Kakashi is working for you? He's here? In the building? In the flesh? Are you sure it's the same Hatake Kakashi? You know, he's got silver-ish hair and missing his left eye and owns a dog shelter-"

"I'm sure." She interrupted. She seemed amused. Then she appeared to catch herself smiling at his enthusiasm and sat up abruptly. "You'll be working on a trial basis under his tutelage. I'll have him call you for further details. Don't disappoint me."

"I won't." He whispered to her retreating back. Her soft smile had effectively shut his systems down again. He felt dazed, as if he had been drugged.

He was in love.

000

"Again?!" Sakura screamed at him through the phone. "Already?! You haven't even been in there for a whole hour and you want to marry my boss?! _Our_ boss!"

"I can't help it." She heard him sighing on the other end and wanted to punch him in the liver. "I think it was destiny. Fate led me to her, Sakura. She's my soul mate."

"You thought the same thing about Stephanie. And Cassidy. And Marion. And Mei Lin. And Akinyi. And-"

"Okay, I get it. But they were different. I mean, this was love at first sight. Usually I'm the one in charge, taking the lead, doing the seducing and stuff. But she… Oh, she knocked me _out_. Without even trying! It was amazing."

Sakura groaned and blocked out his voice as he rattled on and on about how amazing Uchiha Sasuke was. She wanted to yell at him, call him an idiot, give him a right hook to the cheekbone. This was exactly what she had been afraid of. Naruto just couldn't resist beautiful women. And the meaner they were the more he liked them. Sasuke was his dream girl. She should've known this was going to happen. She felt herself getting depressed.

"You know what, I can't deal with this right now. I've got work to do." She snapped, frustrated because of his cluelessness and angry that he hadn't even complimented her on how she looked even once yet had no trouble remembering every detail about her boss's appearance. "You'll have to take a cab back."

"I know. You told me in the car. Twice." Naruto said slowly. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just stressed out. I have a lot to do." She replied half-truthfully. They exchanged awkward goodbyes and she hung up. Why? Why did he have to get obsessed with the _one_ woman she couldn't and wouldn't compete with? She didn't even know who to be jealous of. Sighing, she turned around to get back to work, only to bump into Ino.

"Been looking all over for you." The blond said, munching on a carrot stick. "Sasuke-san wants you to contact Kakashi and inform him that he'll be responsible for teaching the new guy the ropes."

"Why doesn't she call him herself?"

Ino gave her a look.

Oh right.

Sakura sighed. "Is his number still on speed dial?"

"Probably."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Why aren't you calling him?"

"You can handle him better." Ino said, trying to look bored but Sakura could tell something was bothering her. It could only be one thing. Or should she say, it could only be one person. "The last time I tried to relay one of Sasuke-san's orders I had to chase him through the entire building."

"He does that to get her attention."

"He's going to get one of us fired." Ino sighed, dropping her guard. She rarely did that. The girl was so tense all the time, always pressuring herself, trying to live up to impossible expectations. "It's not fair. I hate how that woman steals all the hunky men without even trying yet I can't help but admire her for it."

Not just the men, Sakura thought to herself. "Men can't resist a femme fatale. And Sasuke is their queen. Plus, we have a bad habit of falling for people we can never have."

Ino groaned. "Tell me about it. I spent my entire paycheck on a freaking _hairpin_ just because Itachi said he liked it when Sasuke wore it last month. And now I'm too afraid to wear it in case I lose it. What is _wrong_ with us? We're women. We're supposed to know better than that."

Sakura shrugged, following the blond to the elevator. "Itachi is devilishly good-looking."

"Apparently hot enough to starve over." Ino mumbled. "I hate him, you know. But when I arrive at his office and see those dark-reddish eyes of his glance at me something just shuts down. I would jump off a bridge to get that man's attention."

"That _is_ unhealthy." Sakura agreed, but she knew exactly what the girl was talking about. From experience. "You sure you don't want to trade? Kakashi can be annoying, but at least he won't drive you to suicide."

Ino inhaled deeply. "I swear, Sakura, if I have to hear that man poke fun of me again I'll poison his morning coffee."

"He's not that bad. It's just his sense of humor." Sakura tried. She knew she was fighting a losing battle. Ino would rather choke on a rusty nail than pass up an opportunity to get Uchiha Itachi's attention. "Share the burdens?"

The blond considered it. "Yeah. Might be good to have someone with me to stop me from doing something overly desperate."

Sakura would have laughed if she hadn't known it wasn't a joke. Both women straightened their shoulders, put on a professional expression and marched to the devil's den.

000

Naruto smiled stupidly at his cola can as he thought back to the job interview. Uzumaki Sasuke had a nice ring to it. She would look heavenly in a wedding dress. Didn't matter which one. As long as she would be walking towards him.

He jumped when the doorbell rang. He blinked a few times before going over to open his front door. It was a guy with strange eyebrows. He looked familiar, but he couldn't remember where he'd seen him before.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes!" The guy spoke enthusiastically. "I work for the Mangekyo Fashion House. I'm their delivery guy. Well, one of them. The best and the fastest though. I always make sure things arrive when they're supposed to. It's mostly clothes and accessories, but occasionally it's flowers and other decorative pieces. For the photo shoots, I mean. Well, not always. Sometimes they're redecorating the rooms and hallways."

"Do you have a reason for being here?" Other than telling me your life story, Naruto thought. Nonetheless, he smiled politely.

"Oh," The guy seemed frazzled for a moment. "Yes, I do. Neji-san wants his suit back and says that if you ever try to steal from him again you better make sure you leave Japan afterwards. I think it was a threat. My name's Lee, by the way."

Naruto distractedly accepted the hand offered to him before the words sunk in. "Oh crap! I forgot! I didn't mean to take to suit with me, but I didn't really have a choice at the time. Sakura still had my clothes in her bag and… well, never mind."

"It's alright." Lee said with a smile. "Mistakes happen. This isn't the first time someone has accidentally taken something home with them. I remember this one time Neji-san had a meeting with a reporter and she jumped him. She wasn't really a reporter. She was actually just a crazy fan. Or maybe she was a reporter _and_ a crazy fan. I'm not sure. Security managed to get her off before she could remove all his clothes. She was stronger than she looked. Anyway, she was thrown out but managed to keep his tie. Actually, now that I'm saying it out loud it probably wasn't by accident. Neji-san was furious. First time I've seen him lose his cool."

Naruto couldn't help but stare at Lee in amazement. The guy could talk.

"Also, Itachi-sama was accosted by a mob of rabid fans last month. He was staying in this hotel somewhere in Europe and one of the staff members leaked out his location. It was quite terrifying to see."

"Was he hurt?" Naruto asked, having been completely swept into it by the guy's enthusiasm.

Lee laughed. "Oh no. Itachi-sama walked away unscathed. The fans, on the other hand, nearly wet themselves when he snarled at them. He has a very vicious glare, that man. I couldn't blame them for backing away. It was on the news too. They were crying really hard. Couldn't tell if it was out of fear or happiness though. Sasuke-sama's had a few incidents too."

Naruto's heart skipped a beat at the name. "What? She's been assaulted by fans?"

"All the time! Both of them are really popular. In Asia especially, those two can't go anywhere without a stalker or two finding out about it and bringing along an entire pack. Not to mention the paparazzi just _love_ them. Everything they do makes headlines. Yesterday, Sasuke-same almost got caught with a secret lover. Itachi-sama was really angry about it."

Naruto's jaw tensed. "Secret lover?"

"Well, that's what it said in the papers. It could've been business related, but who knows?" Lee's face fell, "What did you say your name was?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Oh good! So I am at the right place." He paused again. "You're not… a stalker are you?"

"No!" Naruto snapped indignantly. "I was there for a job interview. That's why I needed the suit."

"Ah. Cool. How was it? Did you get hired? Are we going to be colleagues soon?" Lee was so excited he started bouncing on the spot.

Naruto stared. Dear god, he hoped not. "That's none of your- let me go find the suit."

Lee seemed to take the sight of Naruto coming back as a sign that he should continue talking. "So, as I was saying, Itachi-sama was rather upset about the whole deal. But you know what's funny?"

"What?" Naruto deadpanned. He felt drained just listening to him. He was beginning to think the guy was a vampire and just stalling so he'd have enough time to sap him of all his energy.

"Itachi-sama was staying at the same hotel at the time. On the same floor even. How could he have not noticed? I mean, it's possible he was busy - actually, no, Itachi-sama would have noticed. He just senses things like that, you know. He should've known that his sister was only a few doors away from him. I bet this is going to start another 'taboo love' wave in the media."

Naruto frowned and shook his head, confident he had misheard the last bit. "Taboo love wave?"

Lee seemed to have been waiting for that. An excuse to keep talking. "You don't know? Did you live in the North Pole? Don't you read the papers or watch the news? It was a _massive_ scandal. Happened a few years back before Sasuke-sama started working at MFH. Rumors started going around that the two were in an incestuous relationship."

Huh?

"It took a long time for it to settle down, but it never disappeared completely. Not really. People are still talking about it. And now they'll be talking about it even more. Some people even formed groups supporting the two and encouraging them to go public. Crazy, right? Where's my tip?"

Naruto, who went blank at 'incest', glared at Lee. "Tip? Why the hell should I give you a tip?"

"I picked up the suit you were supposed to hand over after your job interview and I provided you with gossip. You owe me a tip."

Naruto winced. "I… don't really have anything to spare at the moment. I kinda need all the money I can get."

Lee was still smiling. He shrugged. "Oh well, better luck next time. See you around, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto-kun?

"What the hell just happened?" He mumbled to himself, blinking dazedly. He stumbled back into his apartment.

He wanted to forget. He hated rumors after all. He lost his career because of one. But… incestuous relationship… between Sasuke and her brother…

Nah.

….

"Fuck it." Naruto grabbed his laptop, one of the few luxury attempts he hadn't sold off to pay his debts, and typed in 'Uchiha incest scandal'. He was immediately met with countless of celebrity gossip sites. There was even a video about it. He clicked on a picture of the siblings walking out of a vacation house holding hands. Both of them were wearing sunglasses and tried to shield their faces from the cameras. Sasuke looked vulnerable, pulling down her summer hat and hiding behind her brother.

He clicked on another photo. It was not as clear as the first one. Whoever had taken it had been in another building at the time and had zoomed in as closely as they could. But, despite being hazy, it was still clear who the two people were. And they were kissing.

Naruto swallowed thickly. Doesn't mean anything, he thought. Family members kiss all the time. His mom never stopped kissing all throughout high school, loved embarrassing him too much. Then again… it did look like a pretty deep kiss. He squinted at the picture. That was definitely Sasuke, but the man could've been someone else. Someone who was also tall, muscled and had long dark hair. He clicked on a third photo. This one showed both siblings, without sunglasses and no hands in front of their faces.

He gawked and cursed. Another leopard. No, a jaguar, _Panthera Onca_ , with a melanistic coat. An apex predator with an extremely powerful bite that could tear through the defenses of armored reptiles and delivered a fatal blow by crushing the skull and piercing the brain.

Itachi pierced brains alright. The girls surrounding them looked like they'd just had a lobotomy. Many of them were captured on camera mid-faint. It wasn't a nice look. The boys didn't look any less insane. He couldn't really blame them though. He immediately realized why the media was so obsessed with the two.

They were magnificent.

The photo had been taken at some kind of red carpet award thing. Despite being modestly dressed, Naruto knew their clothes must've been ridiculously expensive. Sasuke's nails matched the color of Itachi's tie and her heeled sandals had the same gold plate at the front as her brother's polished boots. They were holding hands again.

"What am I doing? This is stupid. There's nothing wrong with a brother and sister holding hands. Nothing sexual about hand-holding. They're probably just really close." Naruto said out loud, hoping he might convince himself to stop thinking about it and looking at unnecessary things.

It didn't work.

He clicked on more picture. The last one, he told himself. It was badly taken and of low quality, but this time he could clearly make out both Itachi and Sasuke. However, it wasn't them that made his mouth drop. There was a vague figure laying in front of the hotel bed in a pool of dark liquid. It looked like a dead body. And that thing Itachi was holding looked like a gun.

No. Impossible.

Naruto shut his laptop, laughing at his own stupidity. It was the internet. Someone had probably photo-shopped it, thinking it would be funny. And the whole incest thing was just a way for the media to get more viewers and fans. Everyone liked a good scandal. There was nothing sexual going on between the Uchiha siblings and that had definitely _not_ been a corpse.


	4. A Dark Side

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairing – Undecided

Summary – Naruto buys a one-way ticket to Japan in the hopes of beginning a life with the help of a long-time pen friend. He ends up trapped in a hurricane of lust, jealousy, love, danger and secrets.

000

Chapter Pairings – (Moderate) NejiSaku, (Light) NaruSaku, (one-sided) NaruSasu, (one-sided) SakuSasu, (dubious) ItaSasu, (mentions of) KakaSasu

Chapter Warnings – Swearing

Chapter Rating – M

000

"Your furry boyfriend stole my suit." Neji snapped.

"He's not my... urgh please, Neji, be nice to me. Please." Sakura begged as she slumped into the nearest chair.

"If I ever see him again I'm carving whiskers into his face."

"You're such an ass. He'll bring it back. He's not the type to steal and even if he was, he's not stupid enough to steal something at the place he'll be working." Sakura said.

Neji slowly turned to her. "She hired him?"

"Wasn't expecting that from a guy in a pink coat, huh?" She tried not to laugh. Wasn't hard. She was bone-tired.

Itachi had been in a foul mood. He had demanded to know why Sasuke wasn't answering his calls, fired one of his assistants (poor girl) simply because she had brought the coffee he had ordered her to get him (though to be fair, she should've known not to enter when the door to his office was closed), and had sent them to the main company building of Uchiha Inc. to find his best friend who was also not answering his phone despite the fact that they were technically not his assistants. Shisui had them waiting outside his office for almost an hour before sending them away without even talking to them. After that, Ino had a small breakdown in the car. They got screamed at by Sasuke for forgetting to get her a new phone and she refused to speak with her brother so when they returned to Itachi's office empty-handed without backup… well, let's just say they were lucky to have gotten out alive. Ino was still shaken up by the experience.

"Was she drunk?"

"Starting to wish you were." Sakura whispered softly. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten laid. Seemed like ages. And Neji was hot. The light from the screen accentuated his handsome facial features. And she knew he looked good naked since she'd walked in on him and… well, whatever.

She hadn't whispered softly enough though. Neji gave her an odd look. "What do you want?"

"Call Kakashi for me?" She pouted at him. "Please?"

On a regular day, Neji would've probably just thrown her out, but something in his face softened. "What happened?"

Sakura shut her eyes. She was not going to cry. This had not been the worst she'd ever gone through. "The Uchihas were grumpy today." She tried to make a joke out of it.

"Ino?"

"She's dealt with worse. Today just came at a bad time. She's usually better at dealing with them than I am."

"She's better at dealing with Sasuke than you are. Not Itachi. She can barely keep herself from fainting whenever she sees him." Neji corrected.

Sakura didn't even try to deny it. "Should I give you his number? Kakashi's, I mean."

Neji nodded silently.

There were days where she couldn't be more grateful that Hyuuga Neji existed. Today was one of those days. The man had a stressful job though she never really understood what it was he actually did. All she knew was that his eyes rarely left his computer screen and he was constantly busy. He was supposed to be some kind of liaison between Uchiha Inc. and Hyuuga Corp. She had always strongly suspected that Neji's work had to do with the _other_ side of Mangekyo Fashion House. The darker side. Itachi's side. She didn't dare ask.

"It wasn't a question, Hatake. It's an order. If you don't do as you're told than you're the one who'll be dealing with Sasuke afterwards." Neji tapped his desk with his pen, frowning impatiently. "I'm warning you. She's in a bad mood today…. I don't care if you're busy and I doubt she will. If you're not here within the next hour I'm calling her next."

"You're giving him an hour? That's nice of you. Why aren't you ever this nice to me?"

"I'm trying to be nice to you right now." Neji replied with a slight growl.

"I know." Sakura said. And I love it because it makes me feel special, she thought to herself. She had the same thing with Naruto. The guy knew how to lift her up unlike any other.

"You could leave this place."

Sakura blinked at him. At first she thought he was kicking her out. "You know I won't."

"But you can. Unlike me, you have a choice."

Sakura didn't know if it was because she was high on exhaustion, but she seemed to have a death wish. "Aren't you scared of him?"

"Why would I be scared of Hatake?"

"I mean, Itachi. You work for him right?"

Neji stopped typing. He turned to her and stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. She squirmed. "You know, despite what she might say or do sometimes, Sasuke does like you."

Sakura smiled weakly, trying to ignore her treacherous heart. "Glad to know that. Does she overwork everyone she likes?"

Neji neither smiled nor rolled his eyes at her attempt at humor. "Sasuke will not be able to protect you regardless of how much she likes you once Itachi thinks you know too much."

Sakura went rigid. "I-I don't know anything."

"Yes, you do." Neji's eyes went back to the screen and he resumed typing. "You made the same mistake many have done before you. That's how you ended up here in the first place. That's why you know things and Ino doesn't despite her being the senior assistant."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Neji let out a frustrated sigh. "Haruno."

"What?" She would play dumb for as long as she had to.

"You should have never brought him here."

Sakura's blood ran cold. "Plenty of people have worked here without ever knowing what really happens here. Staying blissfully ignorant. Ino's the perfect example."

He turned to look at her again. "You're the only he has right now. No one's going to look for someone suspected of zoophilia and domestic abuse when they suddenly go missing."

"How do you about those rumors? Has Itachi asked you to check him? Neji, answer me."

He gave her a calculating look. "Want me to drive you home?"

Sakura wanted to refuse, but she had no defenses against him at the moment. Not with him looking at her like that.

000

His ringtone snapped him out of his focus. It was Sakura. "Hey. Done with work?"

"Yeah. Just got home. He'll call you tomorrow as soon as he has time."

Naruto frowned. Something was up. She sounded strange. "Who?"

"Hatake Kakashi. The one you'll be working for until Sasuke deems you worthy of going solo."

"Right." He probably shouldn't ask, but… "Something wrong?"

"No."

Too fast and too short. Something was definitely up. "Okay. Want me to come over?"

"Not today. I'm tired." There was a pause. "Are you bored?"

"A little."

"There's a nice little bar not too far from where you live. Maybe you can chat up some poor girl there. I can give you directions."

"I'd rather you give me directions to Sasuke's house."

Silence before, "You know you can't do that. It'll never work."

"You don't know that." He replied stubbornly.

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't." Naruto couldn't quite make out the emotions behind her voice. There was definitely some jealousy, but she also sounded a little worried. He was usually pretty good at reading women, even over the phone, but Sakura seemed to have experience with hiding her true feelings.

"Listen to me for once. I'm trying to protect you here."

"From what? Rumors? Paparazzi? Her brother?"

"All of the above."

Naruto snorted. "Rumors destroyed me once, but never twice. I can handle a group of amateurs with a camera and I've encountered a fair share of overprotective brothers. Nothing I haven't dealt with before."

"This is different." Sakura snapped. He faintly heard a familiar-sounding voice say something in the background.

"Who's that? You've got someone over? I thought you were tired." Naruto flinched. Now he was starting to sound jealous.

"It was the TV."

And he was the seventh ninja king, he thought sarcastically. "Okay, you don't wanna talk about it. Fine."

"Why are _you_ getting upset?"

"Because I don't like being lied to." Naruto clenched his jaw. Somewhere deep down he knew he was acting stupid. He'd always known Sakura had had a crush on him. A part of him thought, maybe even hoped, that the girl would fall head over heels for him when she saw him. She had always been his ego-booster. He never realized how cruel that sounded until now. "I just… I was born in one of the most tolerant countries in the world. One of the first who legalized gay marriage. One of the few with legal prostitution. I smoked weed with my parents on my eighteenth birthday, for fuck's sake, and it wasn't against the law."

"What's your point?"

"The _point_ is I know you're not a virgin, I know women have needs and I know you have a man over. What I don't know is why you feel the need to hide it from me. I'm the last person who will judge you. I thought you knew that."

It was half true and he knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't take it back now. Sasuke forgotten, he couldn't help but feel like he'd been shoved aside by someone who he believed had had romantic feelings for him. He didn't want to admit it. He felt bad just thinking about it. It wasn't like he had used her. Or… maybe he had. Fuck. Why hadn't she replied yet?

Naruto wanted to yell at her. "Look, Sakura, I know that my arrival here was sudden and unexpected. And I am _really_ grateful that you helped me out anyway. Don't get me wrong, I understand that I've caused you trouble, but try to see things my way."

"… okay?"

"I lost the girl I thought I was going to marry. I lost my savings. I lost my reputation. I lost my friends. I'm in a strange country. I have no money. It'll take at least a month before I get paid. And the only person I trusted enough to help me out when I was at my lowest is lying to me. How would you feel?"

You manipulative bastard, Naruto thought to himself, hating what he was doing yet unable to stop.

"Believe it or not, Naruto, but I am on _your_ side. I've always been on your side since the day we first exchanged e-mails. I know your feeling vulnerable and alone right now even if that's something you'd never admit out loud. But don't you dare take your anger out on me. I have a right to privacy. You might like sharing every detail of your sex life, but I don't. I thought _you_ knew that."

Naruto flinched. You're not supposed to have a sex life, he thought childishly, you're supposed to like _me_. "You didn't have to lie about it." He replied weakly, feeling embarrassed at his own actions.

"Stop asking invasive questions and I won't." She sounded angry. Of course, she was angry. He was being an asshole.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know. It's been hard on you." She chuckled. It sounded fake. "I've got to go. Bye."

"Bye." He didn't feel better.

000

"You look like hell just spat you out." Sakura said to him. Her insult lost a significant amount of sting with her eyes glued to his butt before settling on his biceps as he moved to pick up his backpack.

"Your fault."

Kakashi had finally called about a week after he said he would. The wait had been horrible. He had been bored out of his mind. Sakura worked long hours and by the time she returned she was either too tired to deal with him or having someone else over. The only highlight had been the group of Japanese schoolgirls fawning over him in the grocery store. They had followed him inside when the spotted him, giggling every time he glanced at them and wondering where he was from. They were fascinated by his height, his blond hair, blue eyes and his muscular physique. One of them almost peed herself in excitement when he reached over to grab the ramen packages on the top shelf with ease causing his arms to flex. The prettiest among them (obviously the alpha of the pack) had gathered enough courage to greet him when he passed them on the way to the counter. He felt like a rockstar when he smiled at them and they responded with a collective sigh.

"How is that my fault?"

"I was bored and you didn't have time for me." Naruto grumbled. "So I got drunk a lot and watched game shows. You people are crazy. Seriously."

She was wearing dark skinny jeans, knee-high boots, a white blouse and a black blazer. Her pastel pink hair was in a bun, making those green eyes of hers the center of attention. She had very little makeup on compared to the last time he'd seen her. Her skin had a healthy glow that definitely hadn't been there the day he'd first met her at the cafe.

"You went to that bar I told you about?"

"No, I flirted with the cashier at the grocery store and she gave me discount on the vodka. I drank the whole bottle last night." And woke up throughout the night courtesy of some very vivid wet dreams about your boss, Naruto thought.

"So now you have a hangover the size of Mercury?"

"And now I have a hangover the size of Mercury." Naruto agreed.

"Marvelous." Sakura drawled. "C'mon, let's go."

"I feel like dying." Naruto groaned, following her down the stairs.

"You look like you're dying." Sakura muttered irritably.

"Your hair's a mess." Naruto countered in annoyance.

"So is yours." Sakura shut the car door and turned around to glare at him. "Stop being bitchy to the person picking you up to go to work."

"You've been bitching at me every night since I got here." Naruto tripped into the passenger's seat, fastened his seatbelt and slumped his shoulders.

"Bastard. It's stress. Also known as work. You'll have to get used to getting up early and working long hours. Sasuke likes to ride people until they break and Kakashi is no different."

Naruto chuckled. "Really? She likes being on top, huh?"

"Yeah, she does." Sakura said before realizing what he meant. She slapped him upside the head. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Can't help it." Naruto moaned. "She's so hot. She reminds me of a cat. Graceful, refined, mysterious, temperamental. I love it."

"Wanna know what you remind me of right now?"

"A horny dog humping someone's leg?"

"You read my mind." Sakura said with a smile.

Naruto chuckled. "Is she single?"

Sakura groaned.

"No, seriously, is she?"

"I already told you. I'm done talking to you about this. I'm not going to help you seduce our boss."

Naruto hummed. He knew she couldn't resist. "What kind of music do you think she likes?"

"Why? Planning on taking her to a concert?"

"I might. So, her music tastes?"

"She likes underground artists, but only because she likes taking credit for making them famous. I have no idea what kind of music she listens to. Besides," She stepped on the break at the red light and turned to him, "You can't ask your boss out, Naruto."

"But she's so _fine_. And she's totally my type." Naruto turned on the radio.

"Vicious little Asians are your type?"

"No, sassy exotic women with curvy bodies and feline faces are my type. She'll be a challenge. The little kitty cat. She seems smart too. Is she smart? Of course she's smart. She helps run a business." Naruto rambled on.

"You just can't catch the hint, can you." Sakura growled.

Naruto glanced at her. "You mad at me or something?"

"No, I'm grumpy because I barely slept."

She always said that. He rarely believed her. "So you're not mad?"

"No, I'm fine."

Naruto shrugged. "Okay. So do you know where she lives?"

"Don't you think you're being a little unprofessional? You're barely back on your feet since your last breakup and now you want to flirt with the woman who hired you?" Sakura snapped.

"Whoa, down girl. You're starting to sound like a mixture between a jealous lover and my mom. Not a nice combo." His smile dropped when he saw the look on her face. "Too far? I'm sorry."

"My job is on the line too if you do something stupid, you know. Because I'm the one who convinced her to give you a chance."

"Sorry." Naruto said again, knowing from experience that that was the best and safest thing to say to an upset female. Sakura had turned out to be a little more difficult to charm than he had originally believed. "I wasn't serious. Well, partially. I'm just really attracted to her. And what if she's the one? Am I supposed to let my soul mate walk passed me just because she's a bit of a challenge?"

"You thought Stephanie was your soul mate. And Andrea. And Nikita. And Su Lin. And-"

"Either I'm having deja-vu or you pulled that one me before." He growled. " I already told you, this is different. Sasuke just floored me completely. And all she did was walk into the room."

"Women like Sasuke are dangerous to love, Naruto. She can destroy you in ways that Stephanie couldn't even imagine."

"Hey, I know the wrath of a woman, trust me. I've been there too many times not to. What's the worst that could happen?"

"You could end up dead or missing." Sakura whispered.

Naruto froze. "What?"

Sakura looked at him as if she was surprised that he had heard her. "Joking. Sorry, was a bad one, wasn't it?" She chuckled awkwardly.

Naruto wasn't buying it. "Didn't sound like you were joking."

"Oh for fuck's sake, what is with this traffic light. _They_ had green twice already. Seriously!"

She was changing the subject.

"I'm talking to you."

"…"

And now she was ignoring him.

Naruto sighed. Sometimes he wished he was gay.


	5. Blackmail

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairing – Undecided

000

Chapter Pairings – (Light) NaruSaku, (One-sided) NaruSasu, (One-sided) SakuSasu, (moderate) KakaSasu, (mentions of) NaruHina, (mentions of/moderate) ItaHina

Chapter Warnings – Swearing

Chapter Rating – M

000

Maybe Sasuke really _was_ a serial killer? Had he somehow ended up falling for a female-version of that American Psycho guy? Was she the type to have sex with her victims before killing them? Was her brother in on it? Maybe they did it together. Or maybe, he was just being stupid. Sakura had probably overreacted in the car. She had exaggerated out of jealousy. Yeah, that's right. Or maybe it was Naruto she was jealous of and that's why she was trying so hard to convince him to give up on her. That would explain why his charm didn't seem to work on her anymore. She was a lesbian in love with her enchanting boss. Maybe they were even having an affair. Maybe Sakura was the secret lover Lee had been talking about and they spent every holiday sexing each other up in fancy hotels.

"Stop drooling. You're creeping out the secretary."

Naruto smiled apologetically at the girl. She was cute. "Daydreaming. Sorry."

"It's okay." She blushed and smiled flirtatiously. "How can I help you?"

Sakura rolled her eyes at him. "You wouldn't happen to know where Sasuke is, would you?."

"She's in Itachi's office. Do you want me to call him and send her down?"

"No, it's fine. Just wanted to know where she was." Sakura smiled at her. "Thanks."

"What?" Naruto said, feeling Sakura stare a hole in his head as they walked back to Sasuke's office.

"Could you do me a favor and stop fantasizing about our boss while we're working?"

He winked at her causing her to roll her eyes again and stomp off. "Touchy."

"You're late." A sophisticated female voice snapped.

Naruto whipped around just in time to see Sasuke march passed him. "Actually, we were just down here to check where you were. We arrived half an hour ago."

She stopped and turned around. Naruto flinched. She was angry. "It wasn't a question." She hissed. "Where is Sakina?"

"Sakura." Naruto corrected instinctively. "She went on ahead."

"Don't just stand there. I'm not paying you to linger in hallways." Sasuke angrily strutted towards the elevator.

Naruto whistled at the insult and followed her. She was dynamite. Ready to go off at any second. It was exhilarating. He wondered how she was in bed before sprinting after her. He managed to squeeze himself through the doors before they closed and stood awkwardly next to her. She seemed rather tiny today for some reason. Probably because she wasn't wearing high heels. Cute little Asians.

"Kakashi sent me an e-mail this morning." He said, trying to sound casual.

Sasuke glanced at him to show she was listening but didn't respond.

"He said he was going to meet me at your office about an hour and a half ago. He wasn't there."

Sasuke seethed. For a second, he was afraid it was aimed at him until she hissed something about a 'one-eyed nuisance'. The last time he checked he still had both his eyes. The elevator stopped and Sasuke was pretty damn quick for someone a head smaller than him. He could barely keep up. He hurried after her, arriving in time to see her throw her bag onto Sakura's desk and asking her where Ino was.

"She's sick. Stomach flu."

"And Kakashi?"

"He hasn't called and he's not picking up his phone. I'll try again." Sakura had already picked up the receiver and dialed the number as she spoke.

"He's doing it on purpose." Sasuke snarled. "He wants me to call him."

"Probably." Sakura admitted, holding the receiver between her ear and her shoulder as she typed something into her computer.

Naruto studied the two women's body language. They were avoiding direct eye contact with each other and Sakura kept sneaking glances. Sasuke acted like she didn't notice or care, but she made sure she was standing right in front of her desk, making it impossible for Sakura to ignore her presence. She also kept flinging her hair back and adjusting her dress, almost as if she was posing.

Holy shit.

Maybe he hadn't been that far off. Their behavior definitely suggested there was some kind of tension between the two. He'd probably fantasize about it later, but right now he was… he was… he didn't know what he was. It was like he wasn't even there.

"I'm not giving him the satisfaction. I will-" Sasuke paused as she was face to face with Ino's empty desk. She glared at it, pursing her lip. "Are you good with computers, Naruto?"

He blinked. It took him a while to realize that, yes, she was talking to him. "I'm alright, I guess."

"Do you know how to edit a photo?"

"Depends on which program you're using."

She signaled him to follow her. He pretended not to see Sakura's look, warning him not to flirt and nearly broke his neck tripping over the carpet.

Sasuke's office was more modern than the rest of the building, but it suited her perfectly. White walls on the left and right, cherry wood wall panels on the door wall and a glass wall behind her desk presenting them a beautiful view of the city and the pitcher plants growing somewhere above the room. A deep maroon carpet muted the sound of footsteps. Her unique desk had a glass top that was held up a golden serpent turning to hiss at whoever entered her office. On the left wall hung two surprisingly colorful oil paintings. The opposite wall was partially hidden by a large potted olive tree. But the most eye-catching piece in her office was the chair. It was massive, big enough for someone Sasuke's size to sleep on (or have sex on, Naruto thought), with a velvety texture and three soft pillows. Naruto imagined her curling up in the chair and taking a nap – legs stretched out, tiny feet pressing against the armrest, hair spilling over the edge like a black curtain, chest softly heaving up and down.

"I want you to edit a few photos for me. You can use Ino's computer. Since she's sick I'll need an extra pair of hands and I doubt Kakashi is going to stop this foolishness any time soon."

"Sure." He muttered distractedly, staring at her cleavage. She glared at him. "Sasuke-san." He added. Those eyes were deadly. He walked to her desk.

Sasuke smiled. It was not a sweet smile. Made her look demonic. It gave him chills. "Narobi?"

"Yes?" He didn't dare correct her.

"I'm going to e-mail the photos to the computer on _Ino's_ desk." She said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. "So you don't have to breathe down my neck."

Naruto felt himself heat up. He wanted to slap himself. He could be such an idiot sometimes. He nodded stupidly and went to the desk which was right outside of Sasuke's office. He opened his business e-mail and stared at the picture. He looked at it for a long time.

"You need help?" Sakura asked.

"Ah, no. Just… nevermind." Naruto mumbled distractedly.

The first photo was of Sasuke and her brother. Like usual, they were holding hands but something was different. Itachi was staring at her. Very intensely so. But there was a frown on his face. The second was of Itachi standing next to a moon-eyed girl that reminded him of Neji. He had seen the girl before.

"Uh, who's the chick?"

Sakura walked over. "That _chick_ is Hyuuga Hinata. She's Itachi's betrothed. Why?"

Naruto paled when he remembered where he knew her from. "Uh, nevermind."

"Naruto?"

"It's nothing. Thought I recognized her but…" What _was_ it with women and their penetrative gazes? It was like they could read minds. "Alright, I've met her at this charity benefit in Congo."

"And?"

Naruto clenched his jaw. "And we talked."

"And?"

"AndImighthaveseducedherandfuckedherinmyhotelroom." Naruto prayed he had talked too fast for her to follow.

Sakura's sharp inhale indicated she had understood him perfectly. "You had sex with Itachi's fiancée?!"

"I didn't know she was engaged at the time. She didn't mention being taken. I thought she was single. Give me a break." Naruto hissed. "Besides, this happened, like, two years ago or something."

Something in Sakura's face changed. For a moment, he thought he saw fear flash across her face. "Their marriage was arranged. They've been engaged since she was born."

"How was I supposed to know?!" Naruto snapped back.

"Is it really _that_ hard for you to keep your dick in your pants?" Sakura snarled.

"Like you can talk."

"Are the photos done yet?"

Naruto jumped. Sneaking up on people like that. She was definitely a cat. "Uh, almost."

Sasuke narrowed her eyes when she spotted Sakura leaning over Naruto's shoulder. "My brother is going to pick me up in ten minutes. That's your deadline."

"I don't know if I can do it in ten minutes." He hadn't even started yet.

"Then I don't know if you'll still have a job in ten minutes." Sasuke replied without missing a beat. She turned to Sakura. "When I come back I need a new outfit. I want that dress from Roberto and I need to speak with Karl and Calvin. Also, contact that new designer from Gucci for me. I need a new outfit for the opening of our new hotel. I want it custom made by that Japanese designer who had that ice queen dress in his show a few months back."

Naruto gaped at her, but she was not finished yet.

"Redo my Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday schedule. I don't want to spend half of my week in the car, Sardine, you know that. Call the manager of that horrendous girl group that was on television last night or something. I don't like them. I want that other singer from New Zealand to promote our new celebrity section. What's her name? She has purple hair. Or that rising star you keep hearing about lately."

Naruto's jaw had hit the desk by the time Sasuke sashayed back into her office. "Damn, she didn't even bother to make sense. It's like she was being vague on purpose."

Sakura rubbed her temples like she always did when she got a headache. "She's been a nightmare all week."

"She called you 'Sardine'." Naruto tried not to laugh.

"I heard her." Sakura glowered at him. "Look, just so you know, it's better that you don't tell anyone that you've screwed Itachi's future wife."

"No shit." Naruto replied, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just trying to look out for you. The place is cruel." Sakura said softly.

What aren't you telling me, he thought, gazing at her. What was she hiding from him? He noted the worried frown on her face. It was always present, but it was particularly noticeable today. He wanted to walk over to her and smooth out her pretty forehead, make that frown go away.

Sakura turned towards him as if she'd read his mind, looking at him with those big, green eyes. Naruto coughed awkwardly. "So what does she want me to do with these photos?"

"Turn their frowns upside down. Literally. You have to make them smile, look like they're happy to be there."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"I was hoping I'd be working in photography by now." Naruto grumbled. "Is Kakashi always this difficult? Why is he doing this anyway? There a reason he's keeping me waiting?"

"He's trying to get Sasuke's attention."

"By annoying the shit out of her?"

"… he's weird, okay."

"Is it working?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

What was that supposed to mean? Sasuke liked being annoyed? Or maybe it was the risk and effort to get her attention that did it. What a high-maintenance diva. Maybe his father had been right. Perhaps he was masochistic. Then again, who was he to talk? He married a living landmine.

"Ten minutes, Naruto. She wasn't kidding when she said that's your deadline. And I don't have time to lecture you about decency during work hours right now. Don't give that look. I know what you were thinking about. I need to run an errand. I'll be back before Itachi gets here. Hopefully." Sakura grabbed her bag and cell phone before running to the elevator.

Naruto hummed a song he'd heard in the car that morning as he waited for the new editing software to install. Ten minutes? He'd do it in less than five. Take that, kitty cat.

000

"Where are you off to, Haruno?"

Sakura blinked at the red thing. "Karin? What are you doing here?"

"Shikamaru wants to see you before you head to Neji." The redhead said. She was wearing a tight shirt, a pair of denim shorts and thigh-high heels. Her hair had been backcombed making it look like she'd lost a fight with her hairdryer.

"Um, alright."

Karin was one of those suspicious workers. She was a messenger or informant of some kind. And she _despised_ Sakura. But more importantly, how the hell did Shikamaru know where she was going?

Nara Shikamaru was an enigma to most of the people working at the Mangekyo Fashion House, including Sakura. She had only seen him once to deliver some papers and had left his office with a bad feeling she couldn't describe.

His office was directly below Sasuke's and Sakura often passed it while doing errands. She remembered it being hot, dark and hazy with cigarette smoke, illuminated only by a dozen computer screens and a small television set on a foreign news channel. There was also an old-fashioned radio playing jazz, two massive bookcases filled with books on almost every subject, a shogi board and a large geographical world globe which lit up in strange places.

Shikamaru had been lounging in his chair, smoking a cigarette and talking Russian into his headset. His black hair was in a high ponytail and his ash-brown eyes zoomed in on her as she walked to his desk. His arms, most of his hands, some of his upper torso and even his neck were covered in tattoos. His ears were pierced and he was shirtless revealing a rather muscular physique despite the fact that he was too lazy to get up and take the papers she offered him. He was rather handsome in his own way, had a rock star appeal to him. But there was something unsettling about him.

He hadn't said a word to her, hadn't even thanked her for bringing the papers. He had kept jabbering on in Russian, seemingly paying little attention to her so she took a look around. One of the computer screens showed the inside of a western house where a young woman was playing with her toddler. Another screen showed something being decoded while yet another displayed a paused video of two masked men. When Shikamaru caught her looking at them all the screens went blank and he motioned for her to leave.

Shaken and confused, she had gone to her apartment and tried to translate some of the words she remembered using Google. Two days later someone had broken into her apartment and stolen her computer. They hadn't left a note or touched anything else, but the message was clear.

Sakura was not stupid. Nara Shikamaru did more than just manage the MFH's website and social media if he even did that. He worked for Itachi. He was involved in _that_. Just like Neji. She knew that if she valued her life and those of her family she would have to stay out of it, pretend she didn't see anything and never speak of what she did see. It hadn't been easy, keeping her curiosity in check. She still slipped up every now and then.

"You wanted to see me?" Sakura studied the skull tattoo on Shikamaru's neck as he laid back in his chair. It was very detailed. Probably cost a lot of money.

"You're not doing a very good job of keeping him in line."

"What?"

"Your friend has been investigating the Uchiha siblings online."

Sakura pursed her lip, a habit she'd gotten from an old lover. "Why do you care?"

"I don't. But I owe Neji a favor." He sat up straight and looked at her. "You're a bad babysitter, Haruno."

"I'm trying my best to protect him."

"He's not the one you should be worried about." Shikamaru said, stretching out his arms.

Sakura exhaled shakily. "I have a q-question."

"Asking questions is risky business in here." Shikamaru replied, but he leaned forward with a lazy smile, waiting for her to continue.

"About… Bolt."

"You want to know if Uzumaki is the father?" Shikamaru snorted. "Isn't it obvious?"

Sakura wanted to sink into the earth and rot. "Is that why Itachi had you keeping an eye on him?"

"Itachi has been interested in him for a while now."

For a while now?

"He doesn't have anything to do with those rumors about Naruto, does he? Tell me, he has nothing to do with it."

Shikamaru gave her a look. "You never thought there was something strange about Naruto's story?"

"Why would I?"

"Stephanie Martins." Shikamaru said, blowing out smoke as he did so. He clicked on something and a report showed up on the screen closest to her. "A waitress at a local bar in Alice Springs, Australia. She barely had enough money to pay her rent before she met Uzumaki. She had been arrested once for drunk driving and had filed a false rape report against another ex-boyfriend before."

"You don't have to tell me Naruto has a bad taste in women."

Shikamaru smirked. "A medical exam proved that Stephanie had no signs of rape or physical abuse. She did show signs of having used cocaine in large quantities within a short time. A credible witness testified that he'd seen her arguing with an Asian man where she worked. He'd overheard them talking. She had repeatedly told the man that 'she needed more time'. Despite this evidence, the jury found Uzumaki guilty on both charges yet he wasn't sent to prison nor placed on the sex offender registry."

"So Itachi is responsible f-for.."

"You're a smart girl, Haruno. You know no one in their right mind would think he was guilty of anything. He is as pure as the cocaine used to pay his ex-girlfriend into chasing him right in to a trap. The whole trial was fixed from the start."

Sakura's legs were trembling. She could barely remain standing, but she refused to take the seat opposite him. "What would Itachi want with Naruto?"

"Uzumaki has skills that could be valuable to us." Shikamaru typed something into his computer and Naruto, sitting behind Ino's desk, popped up on one of the screens. "He's safe for now since things are going to plan. _You_ are a different story. Itachi is getting suspicious. If he feels you know too much you're done."

"W-why are you telling me this?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It's like I said. I owe Neji a favor. He asked me to find a way to protect you and I have."

"How?"

"Help us recruit Uzumaki Naruto."


	6. Game On

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairing – Undecided

000

Chapter Pairings – (Moderate) SasuSaku, (light) ItaSasu, (Light) NaruSaku,

Chapter Warnings – Swearing

Chapter Rating – M

000

Uchiha Itachi was diagnosed as a psychopath when he'd been in his late teens. His psychologist had been a middle-aged man. Despite the man's best attempts to hide his fear, it had been rather obvious. He had easily manipulated him into prescribing him drugs which he would then sell to fellow students. Naturally, his father couldn't have been more proud. Not that he cared. There were few things and only one person he truly cared for.

"You're supposed to be seducing him."

Sasuke scowled at her brother. "Not necessary. He is already attracted to me."

"Not good enough." Itachi countered. "I want him drooling after you like a lost puppy. I want him so caught up that he'll do anything to please you."

"Why are you willing to go to so much trouble for him? What makes him so special?"

"Don't question me, imouto. Do as I say."

"Why don't you ask Kakashi to charm him into joining. The man is his idol. He might succeed. Or blackmail him with Bolt."

"He's being difficult. He thinks we're trying to replace him. And I can't use Bolt without his mother finding out."

"So that's why he keeps delaying his meeting with Naruto." Sasuke growled. "Just tell him we're not replacing him. Tell him we're giving him a sidekick. And since when does Hinata have the balls to stand up to you?"

"She's a good mother. Has less trouble standing up for her son than herself. It will also take more than that to convince Hatake." Itachi gave her a meaningful look. He was not above pimping out his sister to get what he wanted. As long as she would come back to him in the end. A majority of the time she didn't seem to care, sometimes she even did it on her own. But this stubborn attempt to persuade him to change his plans had never happened before. "You can skip the unnecessary step of seducing the man into tutoring Uzumaki by just seducing Uzumaki."

"How does that skip a step when we still need Kakashi to train him?"

Itachi studied the defiance in his sister's face. There was only one explanation. "Does this have something to do with that assistant of yours? The pink one?"

Sasuke stiffened for less half a second. Long enough for him to notice. "She is not as stupid as you like to think, nii-san. She will notice things if I-"

"So be it. You can always get a new one. There are plenty of other women who worship the ground you walk on. You can borrow one of my assistants in the meantime."

"I like the one I have now."

Itachi gave her a warning look. "We've talked about this, imouto."

Sasuke pursed her lip. "Without her I won't be able to do my job as smoothly and precisely as I do now. She benefits both of us, even if you're not aware of it."

"I'll get over it. So will you. You can find a new cunt to play with soon enough."

Sasuke had been in her mid-teens when he noticed her attraction to girls. At first, it had amused him and he often used it to blackmail her. That was before he figured out that it wasn't just a phase. He couldn't care less who or how many people Sasuke slept with. Sometimes, he even enjoyed watching the strays fighting over her. However, he did care about who she fell in love with. Sasuke was his and the thought of her abandoning him for someone else made him want to cut someone's throat out. She would return to him, even if he had to kill every female she ever met to keep her by his side. His love was not the tender, romantic kind. It was harsh, cruel, relentless and unforgiving. He was rarely nice, affectionate or considerate, even when he tried to be.

"If you harm her in any way-"

"I want her gone."

"Because you're scared I'll elope with her?!"

"No." Itachi lied. "Stop yelling."

The Pink One had been the first and only one of his sister's strays that he had actually taken somewhat of a liking to. She was clever, hard-working and had enough self-preservation to keep her mouth shut about certain inconsistencies she'd spotted disregarding that one time she tried to translate Shikamaru's phone conversation. But that was before he noticed that the spark between her and Sasuke had never really gone out. The girl's existence was causing his sister to have second thoughts about the business. That was unacceptable.

"I'm not yelling." Sasuke seethed before laughing in disbelief. "I can't believe you. You have no problems _ordering_ me to sleep with men, but you can't handle it if I get close to one insignificant girl."

"She's not so insignificant if you're willing to ignore direct orders to spare her feelings."

"So that's it. You think I'm in love with her."

"Are you?" Itachi kept his eyes on her face the entire time. This was the perfect chance to confirm his suspicions.

"No."

Itachi suppressed a scowl. Sasuke's poker face had improved dramatically over the years. So much so that even he couldn't tell with a hundred percent accuracy if she was lying or telling the truth. "Why protect her?"

"If you have her killed you can kiss your recon agent goodbye."

"The data says the two have never actually met before he came to Japan."

"She is the only one he has right now. What do you think will happen if she suddenly disappears, huh?"

Itachi thought about it. "So you're not a lesbian?"

Sasuke glowered. "I _knew_ it. You're such a crazy… urgh!"

Itachi grabbed her by the wrist before she could stomp out of her office. "The only reason she is alive today is because I believed you had feelings for her."

"You expect me to believe that."

"I've kept your preferences a secret from father." Itachi reminded her.

"I'm bisexual." Sasuke growled.

Oh….

That was even worse.

"I'd rather you were a lesbian. Less people to worry about."

"Since when do you get jealous?"

Since never. Uchiha Itachi didn't do jealousy. He was just… _possessive_. He did not like sharing and definitely did appreciate some pink-haired school dropout coming along and threatening to take what was he owned. Because whether Sasuke liked it or not, he _owned_ her.

"Father is waiting. We're leaving so get dressed. We will continue this conversation some other time."

"I'll clear my schedule." Sasuke muttered sarcastically. "I _am_ dressed."

Itachi glanced at his sister's outfit. She noticed and narrowed her eyes before wrenching her wrist free and storming out.

000

Uchiha Itachi did not like it when people stared at him or his little sister. Sakura desperately tried to telepathically send Naruto this information, but he continued to gawk at the two as they insulted each other's outfit even when, from their perspective, there was nothing to insult. When that didn't work she tried sending him an e-mail on Ino's computer, hoping he'd read it.

 _Stop staring at them! It's rude!_

Naruto jumped when the computer made a sound, suggesting that her e-mail had arrived. He clicked on it and smirked as he read her message.

 _ **I can't help it! Are they always like this or am I just missing something?**_

Sakura studied the squabbling siblings.

Itachi was wearing one of his trademark custom-made three-piece suits. Like usual, it was all black including the high-collared shirt with accents of gold. His dress shoes were highly polished with a faint red glow and his long hair was in a loose French braid, putting the focus on his handsome face. But according to Sasuke there was a hair somewhere on his lapel

Sasuke had somehow managed to pour her curves into a skin-tight black dress that barely contained her assets and showed off her shapely legs. Her hair was in a Dutch braid and her stunning diamond earrings matched her bracelet and bedazzled clutch. She had exchanged her cute sandals for high-heeled pumps with a peep toe which revealed her manicured toes. Sakura was actually surprised Naruto hadn't keeled over at the sight of her though it might've had something to do with the invisible wrinkle in her dress which Itachi pointed out.

Sakura was used to the Uchiha siblings' bitchy bantering. She'd seen enough to know that the reason behind it was that Itachi didn't like how Sasuke had decided on diamond accessories instead of matching her brother's golden accents and Sasuke was basically telling him to go fuck himself cause she'd wear whatever the hell she wanted. Sakura told herself a long time ago that that was how they showed each other affection and left it at that.

 _This is normal for them so stop freaking out._

 _ **Are you sure? This doesn't have anything to do with the Mumbai Scandal right?**_

Sakura blanched. _How the hell do_ you _know about that?_

 _ **I read it online after some Lee character told me about it.**_

Sakura glared at the screen before swallowing thickly. Shikamaru had mentioned it. Naruto had been doing research on his laptop. Her mood darkened as she was reminded of the seriousness of her current situation.

Shikamaru had been very clear in his instructions. If Sakura wanted to survive this ordeal she, and no one else, would have to be the one to convince Naruto to join Itachi's business and she'd have to be able to prove it. That meant that she was working with a time limit and competing against Kakashi, Lee, Karin, Shikamaru, even Neji and, not to mention, Sasuke. She would be betraying his trust and sending him into a world of unknown horror and brutality. But if she didn't do it she'd be dead by the end of the month and what would happen to Naruto with her gone? She was the only one in the entire damn country who gave a fuck about him.

 _ **Hellooooo? You okay? Now who's gawking?**_

Sakura took a deep breath before replying: _Sorry. I just remembered something important._

 _ **Right. So is it related to what happened in Mumbai? It is, isn't it? Are these two really sleeping together?**_

 _Have you been reading tabloids?_

 _ **Uh, no…**_

 _Naruto!_

 _ **Okay, so what? I was bored and really curious and you wouldn't**_ **believe** _ **how many rumors there are circling around about these two.**_

 _There are also rumors going around about you having sex with animals and abusing your girlfriend for not doing the same._

Sakura regretted sending the message when she saw Naruto flinching. She was about to send him an apology but he whispered 'bitch' under his breath and turned off the computer screen. He was visibly angry. At her.

She squeezed her eyes closed. Don't cry, she told herself, you can apologize later. She rubbed her face tiredly. She knew that she had the habit to take her frustrations out on others and she tended to come across as snarky when she was worried. A part of her was upset that Naruto became angry at her over something like that when she was putting her life on the line for his wellbeing. But she also knew that he couldn't possibly know what was going on behind the scenes. She didn't even know everything. She knew about eight percent at most. She couldn't blame him for making things even more difficult for her and that was so frustrating that she almost cried.

"We're leaving." Itachi drawled, snapping Sakura out of her gloomy thoughts. He glanced at his expensive wristwatch and reached out to grab Sasuke by the arm, but she dodged it.

"Go on ahead without me. I need to relay some orders to my assistants to keep them busy while I'm away."

Itachi's expression remained blank but something in his eyes made Sakura flinch. A cold shiver ran down her spine when those dark eyes moved towards her and narrowed. "I will be waiting by the car."

They all watched him leave. Sakura's heart was pounding so loudly that she thought she might deafen herself. After what seemed like forever, Sasuke turned to them and smiled causing another multitude of shivers to run through Sakura's body even though it was not aimed at her.

"Naruto." Sasuke purred. She sauntered over to him, a set of keys dangling from her manicured fingers. "I want you to pick me up. You can use my car."

Naruto blinked confusedly at the sudden change in demeanor. "Uh, of course. What time?"

She leaned forward on Ino's desk as she placed the keys in front of him. Like a magnet, Naruto's eyes trailed down to her ample cleavage. "At two o' clock sharp. Should be enough time for my father to bully us all. I'll text you the address."

"I have the address." Sakura said.

Sasuke not only ignored her, but pointedly turned her back to her. "I'm impressed with the work you've done on the photographs. You have more talents than I had originally given you credit for."

"T-thanks." Naruto was practically hypnotized.

Sakura sucked in her cheeks as her body warmed with jealousy. She tried to force it to go away cause she had more important things to worry about. Sasuke was making her move. Sakura didn't know why it taken so long for her to do so, but it couldn't have been more obvious. She needed to do something.

"I could go with him to ensure he gets there on time. In case he gets lost."

"That won't be necessary. My car has the latest navigational system. I'm sure he can manage." Sasuke's eyes never left Naruto's face which was turning redder by the second.

Sakura wanted to scream at him to get the fuck away from her while willing her boss to stop. "Does that mean you want me to cancel your meeting with the Sound Four?"

"Naruto will take me there."

"But he needs to stay here and wait for Kakashi."

"Kakashi is on a plane to Syria. He won't be returning for another four days." If Sasuke leaned any closer one of her breasts would pop out of that dress. "Speaking of which, since Kakashi is being so difficult about this, I thought you could work as my assistant in the meantime. Only until he comes to collect you of course."

"Of course." Naruto stuttered. If he had a tail it would've been wagging enthusiastically.

"You've been doing so well and you've been so patient."

He's only been working for you for little over an hour, Sakura thought darkly. "But there are only two desks. Where will he work?"

"He can work on your desk, Saltine."

"But… what about me?"

Sasuke smiled. "You're fired."

Sakura froze. You bitch, she thought, you _utter_ bitch.

000

Naruto's head was reeling. He was driving a black Ferrari convertible on his way to an exclusive restaurant by the beach and he wasn't enjoying it. He was irritated. He was angry at Sakura and at himself. His only friend in Japan had gotten fired. Despite still being miffed about the comment she had made earlier, he had tried to comfort her only to sit on the receiving end of a furious rant. Okay, he could get the fact that she was mad that he'd only noticed she had been fired when she started gathering her things. He'd still been daydreaming about Sasuke which he did not mention to her because that would've made her even more angry. But where the hell did she get the nerve to accuse him of not standing up for her after everything she had done for him? What was he supposed to have done? It wasn't like it was his fault she got fired.

Right?

Naruto groaned. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he had no blame, but even if he did, it wasn't like he did it on purpose. He would talk to Sasuke once he picked her up and try to reason with her. Even though he was still angry at Sakura for taking out her rage on him, he wasn't going to sit around and let her be tossed aside like trash. Not this time, anyway.

He turned up the volume of the radio in an attempt to keep his mind off the subject for the rest of the trip. It worked. Partially. Stupid songs kept reminding him. After a forty-five minute drive he arrived at the restaurant, parking in front of it and gazing at the luxurious building in amazement. He waited for three minutes until he spotted Sasuke leaving the place.

She was something else. She really was. She was so intoxicating it drove him crazy. Vicious and mean yet charming enough to get away with it and so beautiful that his brain rolled over in submission. She was enchanting in a deadly way that made his skin itch and burn. He couldn't express how much he wanted her.

"You're late." Sasuke said.

Naruto frowned, but decided not to reply. He figured it was how she greeted people. He caught a glimpse of a creamy thigh as she stepped into the passenger seat. He started the car and collected his courage.

"Uh… um, I wanna talk about what happened earlier. I think you should give Sakura another-"

"You wouldn't happen to have the number of Sound Four's manager, would you?"

"Uh, no. But about Sa-"

"I want to cancel the meeting with them. I don't feel like discussing any more business. Father has sucked the life out of me as usual. I'm tired." Sasuke undid her braid and took off her bracelet, carelessly throwing it into her clutch along with her hair tie. The way she ran her hand through her hair was the sexiest thing ever.

"Um… uh… anyway…"

"Naruto?"

"Yes, Sasuke-san, I mean Sasuke-sama. Miss Uchiha." He inwardly cringed at his own nervous stuttering.

She smiled at him again. "Take me home."

Naruto tore his eyes away from her, feeling breathless. He clumsily fiddled with the navigational system, intimately aware that she was watching him.

"It also works on verbal commands." Sasuke purred. "Just say 'Uchiha compound'. Say it clearly."

Naruto began to sweat. This was going to be a long ride if he didn't get his act back together. "Found it. It was next to… yeah. Found it." He repeated lamely.

He spent the first fifteen minutes trying to talk some fire into himself. He would never forgive himself for not coming to Sakura's aid just because he transformed into a pubescent boy with no control over his hormonal body whenever Sasuke was around.

"Listen, I need to… to say this or it'll haunt me to my dying day. I just-"

"You want to convince me to rehire Sakura."

Naruto frowned. "Yes. Preferably without getting fired in the process."

Sasuke hummed. "I admire your sense of loyalty, but I'm afraid my reason for letting her go stands stronger."

"What reason, if I may ask, did you have?"

"Sakura has potential. As much as I hate to admit, her talents are being wasted as long as she's working for me. I've taught her all I could. How to handle pressure, time limits and competition as well as how to deal with irrational bosses and insane demands. She's ready now."

Naruto glanced at her, feeling slightly awestruck. "You fired her so that she could… find a better life?"

"Exactly. Don't tell my brother or I'll never hear the end of it. I've already written a detailed recommendation for her. All I have to do is send it and she can get practically any job she desires."

Her expression was genuine. She had really done it for Sakura's best interests. Naruto smiled. "Wow, that's unexpected."

"Sakura will thank me once she's moved on. Besides, now I have more time to focus on you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you." Sasuke's gaze was intense and nothing like the usual cold half-glare she threw around at the Uchiha Fashion House. "I'm going to mold you into perfection, Naruto."

Naruto laughed nervously. "I thought that was Kakashi's job."

Sasuke smiled. "I saw you first."

Naruto swallowed thickly. He was swept away by her voice detailing historical places, expressing her love of the beach and bonfires, telling him short stories of her childhood and softly humming to certain songs until he had all but forgotten Sakura.

000

Itachi was on his way to his car when his phone rang. "What is it, imouto?"

"And here I thought father might actually improve your mood for once."

"I don't have time to play around. I've been given new orders. The urgent kind."

"Perhaps this will put a spring in your step, aniki. I've done what you told me. Within less than five hours."

"What are you talking about?"

"Naruto. Is. _Mine_." Sasuke purred. "And you no longer have to worry about Sakura."

Itachi smirked. "What have you done with the girl?"

"Doesn't matter. She won't be bothering you again."

His smirk faltered. "I hope for her sake and yours that you have given her a painless death."

"She's gone. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Father wants her erased, imouto." Itachi lied. "So if you've ever loved her I suggest you find her before I do."

"Why would father be interested in one of my assistants? How dare he-"

Itachi hung up and dialed another number before Sasuke could call back and yell at him again. "Sasori? I have a job for you."


	7. Fast & Furious

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M

000

Sakura cried in the elevator. She knew there were cameras and she knew that that bastard Shikamaru would probably see it, but she couldn't stop if she tried. She was angry and afraid. She couldn't breathe. She had lost before the game had even started, before she had even decided whether or not she was going to participate in it. What was she supposed to do now? Forget about Naruto and the dubious affairs of the Uchiha clan, and move on with her life? She couldn't do that. She just couldn't.

She needed help. She needed to talk to someone. The closest thing she had to a best friend before Naruto arrived was Ino. But she was sick and knew absolutely nothing about what was happening right under her nose. She didn't want to get her involved.

Neji.

He had been uncharacteristically kind to her in the last two weeks. Suspiciously so. In the time she had worked for Sasuke he had never shown any indication to being attracted to her in any way and suddenly she managed to seduce him in an hour? It didn't make sense. She hadn't thought about it at the time because getting attention from a hot guy, especially one that wasn't known for being nice, gave her a much needed confidence boost and the sex had been incredible. But now she just felt stupid and used as she realized there was a good chance that Neji had been acting on Itachi's orders to see how much she knew without raising too much suspicion. He had only slept with her to gain information and now he felt sorry for her so he'd asked Shikamaru to take pity and help her out.

She swiftly passed Neji's office, face red in embarrassment. She felt like such an idiot for not noticing sooner. She had been tricked, played in the same way Naruto had been by Stephanie and now Sasuke. The poor guy had no idea what he was getting himself into. He deserved a fighting chance at least, but even that was out of the question now.

Sakura sat in her car, breathing heavily and weighing her options. So you're just going to give up, she asked herself. What else could she do? Delude herself into thinking she was an action hero and gallantly come to Naruto's rescue when she knew damn well that she didn't stand a chance. She'd wind up dead within days and if she tried to warn him she'd be putting his life in danger as well. He was not worth getting their darkest secrets exposed. The Uchiha clan would execute him without second thought.

She could contact Shikamaru and ask him to look out for Naruto. Sakura snorted. As if that lazy motherfucker gave a shit. Well… trying couldn't hurt, right? She grabbed her purse and rummaged through it, searching for her phone as she desperately tried to remember the number to Shikamaru's office. She had been staring right at it when he explained the plan to her that morning. Five-seven-something.

She couldn't remember.

"Fuck!" She punched the wheel in frustration. Five-seven… she burst into sobs for the second time. She didn't know how long she sat in her car, crying and sobbing so hard her ribs felt bruised, but it felt like forever. Maybe she should just drive off a bridge and get it over with. It wasn't like she was ever going to be happy again. All of her choices would end up with her either dead or burdened with an overwhelming sense of guilt and self-hatred.

She jumped in surprise when her phone rang. "Hello?" She said, trying to sound like she hadn't been crying for fuck knows how long.

"Where are you?" It was Neji. That lying, deceitful bastard.

"I've been fired which means it's none of your business."

"So I've heard." He said. "This isn't work-related."

"I'm not in the mood for sex, and even if I was, I wouldn't tell you."

"This is not the time to throw yourself a pity party, Haruno. Itachi has put a hit on you. If you're in your apartment you better leave ASAP. Don't even bother packing anything. Just leave."

Sakura's blood chilled. "… what?"

"For fuck's sake, woman. For some reason, Itachi wants you dead and he's contacted one of his loyal assassins to do the job. Your apartment is the first place he'll look so get out of there."

"What's the second?" Sakura managed to say though she felt numb. "Neji, answer me, please. Is he going after my parents?"

"If you're lucky he won't hurt them."

"And if I'm not?"

"There's nothing you can for them."

"I can't just leave them-"

"Worry about yourself for a change, Haruno. Now where the hell are you?"

"I.. I'm in the underground parking lot." Sakura's chest felt tight and hot and too small for her heart. She felt faint.

"Don't leave the area and if anyone approaches your car that isn't me you run them over. Understand?"

"I can't breathe." She gasped.

"Calm down. I'm coming for you. Stay where you are."

Sakura nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. Her panic evolved into full-blown hysteria after Neji hung up. She lowered herself as far down as she could. She turned on the radio to distract her, but turned it off again when she realized it could give away her location. She cursed and tried to think of something else that would calm her nerves.

000

Naruto immediately noticed the tension in Sasuke's shoulders when she returned to the car wearing a different dress that was even more provocative than the one she'd worn to the restaurant. As an outsider, he was not allowed into the Uchiha compound and since there were security cameras everywhere there was no way for him to go inside without getting caught so he waited by the gates in Sasuke's streamlined Ferrari.

"Move aside. I'm driving."

Naruto's smile faltered slightly. He did as he was told, wondering what had happened in the time that she'd been inside and where she was taking them. Maybe she'd run into someone she didn't like or-

"Holy shit!" Naruto grasped onto the dashboard for dear life as Sasuke stepped on the gas and raced onto the street in a speed that was meant for a drag racer or a military jet plane.

"I've changed my mind." Sasuke said over the sound of the roaring engine. "We're going back to work."

Naruto squealed, not trusting himself to speak. He closed his eyes when she turned a corner and barely avoided colliding with another car.

"There were children sitting in that Toyota!"

"What? They're fine." Sasuke snapped. She glanced at him.

"Look at the road! For fuck's sake, _look at the road!_ "

"Are you scared?"

"You drive like a demon on meth! Of course I'm scared!"

Sasuke stared at him wide-eyed. Then she burst out laughing. He would've found it adorable if he wasn't fearing for his life.

"Stop it! It's not funny! And look at the fucking road, you crazy bitch!"

Sasuke appeared to be having the time of her life. "You should see your face!"

"Ah! Lord help me!" Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm going to throw up."

The car screeched to a stop in front of a red light. "Do it and I'll make you clean every inch of it with a toothbrush."

"Have mercy." He croaked.

Sasuke smirked. "Why should I?"

Now that he was in no immediate danger Naruto calmed down somewhat and realized, to his horror, that he had called his boss a 'bitch'. But, from the looks of it, she either hadn't heard or didn't care. She was still smirking at him, enjoying the way he tensed whenever the engine growled. There was a glint of sadistic pleasure in her eyes that made his heart stop. And that's when it hit him.

This was the real her. This crazy she-demon that flew over city streets in a sleek black hell-on-tires with the wind in her hair and no one to tell her she couldn't was the true face of Uchiha Sasuke. Not the conceited harpy that sat in her massive office chair and bossed around her staff with a sour look on her face or even the smiling lady enrapturing him with tales of Japanese history on the car ride to the Uchiha compound. Those were masks, acts performed by this mysterious actress.

The real Sasuke was a thrill seeker with a passion for adventure, freedom and fast cars. She was a wild child with an alarming disregard for rules (particularly traffic laws) and a taste for tropical vacations, bonfires at the beach, sunsets and scandalous love affairs.

Naruto found himself falling in love for a second time, mesmerized by her lively grin, until the light sprang to green and he grabbed the first thing within reach to keep himself from losing it.

"Get your hand off my tits!"

"I will if you slow down!" He squeezed it for good measure which earned him a vicious slap that left his world spinning in two different directions. He couldn't remember ever being happier in an underground parking lot than when he stumbled out of the Ferrari death-trap, covered in cold sweat but alive. And he'd managed to keep his stomach contents down. Hurray.

"You touched my breasts."

"You almost killed me."

"You called me a bitch."

"You-" Naruto caught the look on Sasuke's face. The moment she was inside (or under) the Uchiha Fashion House all of her playfulness vanished, along with the happy feeling he had. She had transformed back into the office harpy. "I'm so sorry."

Sasuke, who had apparently gotten bored waiting for an apology, was already heading for the elevator. Naruto ran after her.

"There's a list of things that need to be done before the end of the week laying on Sakura's desk. Keep yourself busy with that, Nuzleaf."

"Seriously?" He whispered to himself as he watched Sasuke angrily strut towards Neji's office. "A Pokémon? At least make it a cool one like Ninetales or Nidoking."

Naruto felt emotionally drained when as sat behind Sakura's desk and looked through her agenda. Sasuke was a rollercoaster. She kept him on his toes. But now he was reminded of the fact that she was also the woman who fired Sakura, regardless of her noble reasons. He frowned, feeling a little like a traitor for not trying hard enough to get her job back.

"Where is she?"

Naruto jumped at the voice and jumped a second time when he saw who it was. He stood up straight, felt stupid and sat back down. "Itachi, sir. Uh, Sasuke is on the third floor-"

"Not her. Her assistant. The pink one."

Naruto blinked. "I have no idea where she is."

"Would you tell me if you did?"

"No." Naruto said before he could stop himself. He had had a bad feeling about Itachi from the moment he saw his picture. He didn't know why, but there was something about him that he neither liked nor trusted.

"Why not?"

"It's an invasion of privacy. She no longer works here so she can go wherever she pleases."

Naruto swore he saw a hint of a smirk that lasted for about a nanosecond and panicked slightly. Had he somehow said something he shouldn't have?

"I wish to hire her as my personal assistant."

"Next time I see her I'll tell her she has a job offer."

"Do that."

000

Neji didn't say a word when he came to her. He led her to his car and they drove to the nearest airport. Sakura had felt a mixture of relief and sorrow when she saw the sign and realized where they were heading, but it turned out that things weren't as they seemed. When they arrived, Neji grabbed her phone and gave it to the first stranger that accepted it without question before returning. They drove off again. Sakura began counting cars to keep herself from thinking too much.

"What if someone calls me?" She said finally, unable to stand the silence any longer. "What if it's Naruto?"

"Phones are traceable, Haruno. Can't take the risk."

That made sense.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere safe. A place where no one will ever think to look for you."

"Does the place have a name?"

Neji sighed, but didn't answer.

"I think I have a right to know where you're taking me."

"The less you know the better." He said at last. "Be grateful I didn't blindfold you."

"What about my stuff?"

"Too risky to retrieve any of it."

"My apartment?"

"It's being taken care of. You don't have to worry about anything. Our main priority is to make you disappear from Itachi's radar."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"You'll just have to trust me."

Sakura looked at Neji for the first time since she stepped into his car. "Why are you doing this? I know you don't have feelings for me."

Neji sighed. For a moment, she thought he wasn't going to reply, when he said: "But she does."

Sakura bit her lip. So that was it. He wasn't doing this for her. None of it was ever for her. He was doing this because he thought Sasuke was in love with her. That was the cold harsh reality of it all. She had never pegged Neji for a fool. She wanted to cry again, but she refused to let him see a single tear. She forced herself to continue counting passing cars though she never came further than 'ten'.

She didn't know how long she had been in the car or how far they had driven, but by the time they stopped in front of an apartment complex similar to the one she had lived in, her bones felt like lead. Stiff and heavy. She was grateful to be standing yet at the same time there was a sense of paranoia. Someone was out to kill her and she didn't know who, what they looked like or even their name. It could've been Neji for all she knew. She glanced at him, trying to spot a weapon. He was writing something on a piece of paper.

"Third floor." He said, handing her the paper slip. "Number 32. Don't go into the elevator with anyone. Take the stairs if you have to."

Despite what he had done and the reasons behind it, Sakura was grateful for Hyuuga Neji. "I would've been dead by now if it wasn't for you."

He didn't smile or reply with some sappy speech of how she worth it. He simply touched her cheek and went back into his car.

Sakura's heart, which had been dangerously quiet for the last few hours, began stirring again as she entered the building, feeling vulnerable. It was only when she saw Neji driving away from the window that she realized she still had some questions. Like, wasn't there a key? How was she supposed to get in? Was there someone waiting for her? Who? Male or female? What did they look like? What was their name? What if it was the assassin? How would she be able to tell?

Her legs were practically shaking by the time she rang the door to number 32. At first, she thought she had made a mistake and he'd actually said 23 because it felt like she'd been standing there four hours before she remembered the note Neji had given her.

 _Password is 'Konoha'._

"Konoha?"

Almost immediately the door opened.

"Hola."

The guy was tall. Not nearly as tall as Naruto or Neji, but tall enough to be noticed in an Asian crowd. He was definitely foreign. Columbian or Puerto Rican or something. The silver piercings of his snakebite stood out against his tanned skin and he had enough tattoos to rival Shikamaru though his were less macabre and more colorful. He held a lit joint in one hand and was holding back a large white Newfoundlander with the other. He wasn't wearing a shirt revealing well-developed abs and he was smiling brightly at her.

"Quién eres?"

"What?"

"Habla español?"

"Uh, I don't understand what you're..."

"Yo no hablo japonés, puta. English?"

"Yes!" Sakura said a little too loudly causing the dog bark. A booming sound that made her jump.

"No worries. He doesn't bite. He just wanna lick your face. Is greeting for dogs, you know." He said with a heavy accent.

"Okay." Sakura wasn't sure what to do. The young man was still smiling but he wasn't letting her in either. "Um, I was told that I would be safe here?"

"Who told you?"

"Neji. Hyuuga Neji."

"Ah, okay. Wait a minute, okay?" He plucked a cellphone out of his pocket with the hand holding the joint and speed dialed someone. "Hola, soy yo. Hay alguna chica delante de mi puerta. Qué quiere ella? Ella sabe la contraseña, pero no la reconoció. Es que con usted? Bueno. Adiós. Okay, come in."

Sakura let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and almost ran over the dog in her hurry to get inside. The place reeked of cannabis. There were empty packages of takeout food, cds, maps and books spread over the table and in one of the back rooms she could see a familiar display of computer screens. A radio was playing latin rap music.

"So," The young man started, releasing his dog which instantly jumped her and licked her face. He cursed in Spanish, grabbing the dog by the collar and tried to pull it off of her. Sakura giggled. "Akamaru! Down! Enough with the licking, coño. So, as I was saying, my name is Kiba."

He helped her up. She was still giggling when she said: "Saku-" and that's when she noticed the gun on the table. The blood drained from her face along with her smile.

Kiba laughed. "No worries. Is not loaded. I won't kill a friend of mi amor."

"Mi amor? Neji?"

"Neji?" Kiba raised an eyebrow before snorting. "I wouldn't touch that icy cabron if my dick was on fire."

She stared at his tattoos, the smoky air in the room and the computer screens in one of the back room. That's when it clicked. "Shikamaru?" She said incredulously.

"Sí." Kiba smirked. "What? You against it or what?"

Sakura blinked. Then she glanced at the gun. And blinked again. She shook her head. "No. Not at all. I just… I didn't know he was gay."

"He ain't. We suffer from a little something called 'bisexually'."

"You mean 'bisexuality'?"

"Yeah, one of those. Whatever. I'm in love with the bastardo. He just happens to have a dick."

"Right." Sakura had a difficult time envisioning Shikamaru with Kiba. Though she didn't know either of them well enough to know what they were like, it seemed as if the latino was little more lively, not to mention talkative, than the lazy genius who spent a majority of his time in his dark, gloomy office. Talk about opposites attract.

"So who you piss off, huh?"

"Uchiha Itachi, apparently."

Kiba's chocolate brown eyes widened. "Say what now? Itachi? Ooooh no. You lie?"

"Why would I lie?"

"How did a little puta like you make the dark prince angry?"

"I'm not a puta." Sakura said, frowning at the amount of swearwords that spilled out of his mouth.

"I thought you didn't speak Spanish?"

"I don't, but I know what 'puta' means."

"No one here speak Spanish. Only Shika talk Spanish with me. Is fucking lonely. So, anyway," Kiba took a drag from his joint and sat down on his couch, "you piss off Itachi? Why you not dead yet?"

Sakura didn't like how casually he was about the situation. "Neji helped me out."

Kiba laughed. "Why? That little cabron doesn't give a shit about anyone. 'Xcept maybe that belleza he works with. What is her name?"

"Sasuke."

"Sí." Kiba clapped his hands together as his expression turned excited. "Oh, I know who you are now. You're the zorra she was caught with in Mumbai."

Sakura's face fell. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kiba's smile widened. "You do. I know you do. Shika told me. Itachi hire Shika to trace his lil' sister after she didn't do what he told and he caught you two making looove in the beach houses. I know that was you. Shika showed me pictures. You were blond then. Is that why you change your hair?"

Sakura glared at him. "It's none of your business."

"I make it my business." He said, mocking her high-pitched voice. "Oooow, that belleza is smart. She hide you from Itachi in plain sight."

"What?"

Kiba ignored her. "Wonder how she got Shika to stay quiet? He better not have fucked her without me, that bastardo. We suppose to share everything."

"What do you mean she hid me from him?" Sakura said louder this time.

Kiba snorted. "You don't know? She went through all that trouble and you _don't know_? Let me guess, you thought she play you for a fool all this time. Had you on leash, thinking she don't care. And then you go running after other people. Like Naruto."

"How do you know Naruto?"

Kiba scoffed. "They pay me to track him down."

"Pay you to… What are you? Are you a hired gun?"

"More like a hired anything-you-want-me-to-be-as-long-as-you-pay-me-enough. But finding and following people my speciality. Is how I meet Shika. We do a lot of freelance for the Uchiha people."

"What does the Uchiha clan want with him?"

"Shika is the best fucking hacker or cracker or whatever is the word, but he lazy. I actually go outside to-"

"Not him. Naruto."

"Oh." Kiba shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care. They don't pay me to ask questions. Sometimes they pay me to get answers though."

"What kind of answers? What is the Uchiha clan involved in?"

"More like what is the Uchiha clan _not_ involved in."

"Okay, what does Itachi do? What is the Uchiha Fashion House covering up?"

Kiba laughed and said something in Spanish. "Human trafficking, puta. Modern slavery is Itachi's speciality."

"Specialty." Sakura corrected, numbed with something inexplicable. "And stop calling me that."

"Whatever."

"What does Itachi want with Naruto?" She repeated through clenched teeth.

"No." Kiba smiled. "Is enough. Now I ask the questions, _puta_."


	8. Conspiracy

_DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS_

Genre – Romance/Drama/Humor/Erotica

Style – AU

Rating – M (for now)

Main Pairing – Undecided

000

 _Guest – I do? I know I have a history of gender-bending Sasuke and since canon!Sasuke is an asshole it's only logical that female!Sasuke is a bitch. And seeing as canon!Naruto spent a majority of the manga chasing after Sasuke (who tried to kill him more than once), trying to win over Sakura (who clearly still had a thing for Sasuke and frequently punched him) and completely oblivious to the only character who thought he was awesome from day one (Hinata – I mean, Neji had to die before he realized she might be the better option), I think it's safe to say that Naruto has a bad taste in women. So yeah, that's my excuse. Bless his oblivious heart. Also, romance isn't exactly my strong point. I think I did better with 'Worlds Apart'._

 _A Latin – I don't speak Spanish at all. I used Google Translate. Writing 'Columbia' instead of 'Colombia' was an honest mistake._

000

Shikamaru had started out as a freelance cracker hired by Itachi to keep tabs on his sister and her numerous lovers. It had been an easy job and the pay was fantastic so when he was offered another, semi-permanent job he accepted it without fully realizing the possible consequences. It took him five years to understand what he had gotten himself into, but he had been too proud to admit that he had bitten off more than he could chew. The truth was that he and his Spanish-speaking boyfriend had no choice but to work for Itachi. They knew too much. Shikamaru especially knew almost every dirty detail about the business and personal aspects of the lives of the Uchiha siblings.

He hadn't ever considered quitting until he found himself at gunpoint in the middle of the night after someone hacked the security system at the Uchiha compound. Naturally, being an expert in such things, he had been one of the main suspects. But, to think that after years of loyalty, Itachi would just send five of muscleheads after him and his sweetheart, have them both beaten and assaulted, on the basis of a suspicion, had been a turning point for him. Going after him was one thing. Getting strapped to a chair while they did inhumane things to Kiba was another.

Luckily, Itachi didn't realize he had lost two of his best people that day. As far as the dark prince was concerned, they were still loyal to him. It didn't even matter if that loyalty stemmed from fear. Itachi had no idea how dangerous Shikamaru could be to him and his empire. He could shut the entire Uchiha clan down by pressing a single key. Unfortunately, that would not only cost him his life, but that of his sweetheart and their families. So he had made a plan that would not only expose the criminal side of Uchiha Inc., but would render everyone he cared for invulnerable to any attempt at revenge.

The first step had been winning over Sasuke. She was key to his plan. He had needed to find a way to gain her trust and partnership without revealing his true intentions. The opportunity came to him when she was caught neglecting direct orders from her dear father in favor of spending time with a female lover. He had been kind enough to offer Sasuke a way out without wanting anything in return. It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. He didn't know what he would've done without her advice.

The second step required his boyfriend's expertise. Kiba had a lot of skills, both in and outside of the bedroom, and one of them was gathering information the old fashioned way. Shikamaru needed secrets. Not business secrets, but personal secrets. Itachi was very fond of his privacy and always made sure that he visited the most exclusive hotels and clubs. But even the most private accommodations had been infiltrated by prostitutes and escorts. In Kiba's own words, sometimes a man had to do what a man had to do.

The third step was the most difficult one as it centered around two people who, unbeknownst to themselves, were more entangled in these affairs that they realized. Haruno Sakura was one of those people. The girl had no idea how much trouble she had caused. It was a miracle it had taken so long for Itachi to figure out who she really was. The second was Uzumaki Naruto. The Uchiha clan was willing to invest a lot of time and money in order to recruit him and only a handful of people knew the real reason as to why.

Shikamaru sighed when his screen showed he was being called. "Hola, querido."

"La chica es molesto! Ella sigue haciendo preguntas. No dejar de hablar de Naruto! Si tengo que oírla chillar nombre una vez más de ese idiota voy-"

"Calm down. I'm almost done with work. Why don't you watch a telenovela with her. Bond a little."

"Escucha, idiota bastardo perezoso. Volver a casa ahora. Deja de tratarme como una mujer."

"I'll be home within an hour, wifey."

"Cabron!"

Shikamaru hung up with a smirk. "Dios sabe que me encanta ese idiota, pero lo hago."

"I take it Sakura is doing well at your place?"

"Neji, come in." Shikamaru drawled sarcastically. "Make yourself at home."

Neji rolled his eyes and sat down on the chair opposite him which was usually reserved for Kiba whenever he came to visit. "I needed to talk to you before you left."

"About?"

"About this. What are we going to do about this. This wasn't part of the plan. Sasuke was not supposed to fire her and Itachi was definitely not supposed to send a hitman after her. Who is it anyway?"

"Sasori."

"Fuck."

"That's good news actually."

"In what way?"

"It means he's underestimating her. Like you are."

Neji's eyes narrowed. "How am I underestimating her?"

"She's a lot tougher than you think."

"How so?"

"She's survived so far, hasn't she?" Shikamaru didn't always like Neji and vice versa, but they respected each other. And that was good enough for the partnership to work.

"So you're saying she might actually still go through with it and recruit Uzumaki?"

"She has to."

"And how do you suppose she's going to do that if she's been fired and has a hired gun looking for her?"

"This could actually work in our favor. If she manages to pull this off it'll give Itachi even more reason to let her into the circle along with Uzumaki."

"And if she doesn't?" Neji snapped. "Sasuke is in love with Haruno in case you've forgotten. If she dies, you lose Sasuke."

Shikamaru hummed. "Maybe not. It might entice her to rebel even more."

Neji frowned. "Is that the new plan? Let Haruno die in the hopes that Sasuke will finally make up her mind about what she wants?"

"Does that bother you?"

"It's an unstable plan. You know as well as I do that it could also lead her right back into Fugaku's arms."

"It's a chance we might have to take if Haruno fails or decides not to go through with it. Besides, we still have Uzumaki."

"What good is he?"

"He's more valuable than you think." Shikamaru glanced at the screen to his left. "He's definitely more charming than you like to believe."

Neji followed his gaze and his frown deepened. "What is happening?"

"Sasuke is sneaking him into the Uchiha compound. It's one of her seduction tactics. Not that she needs them. She seems to like him. He must've done something to get her attention while we weren't looking. Speaking of which, she looked rather upset when she left your office earlier."

Neji scowled. "She's angry with me because you insist on keeping Haruno's whereabouts a secret from her."

"If Sasuke doesn't know where she is Itachi can't get it out of her."

"Sasuke would never give her up to him."

"Not intentionally, no. But we both know that she tends to put too much faith in his non-existent humanity."

"You think he'd trick her into believing he just wants to talk to Haruno?" Neji scoffed at the idea.

"You know as well as I do that it's happened before. It's what caused the rift between them in the first place."

"Exactly, which means it's unlikely that she'll do it again."

Shikamaru studied him. "I think you're placing Sasuke on a pedestal. She's far from a saint."

"I know that." Neji snapped. "But she spent years protecting Haruno from her brother's wrath. Why would she quit now?"

"Because Uzumaki wasn't in the picture then." Shikamaru glared at him when he saw the look on his face. "Don't you dare let your emotions get the better of you, Hyuuga."

Neji snorted. "When have I ever?"

Shikamaru leaned back into his chair and glanced at a picture of his lover, smiling and kneeling beside his beloved canine companion. He was going to make them pay for hurting the one he loved.

000

Naruto squirmed as he tried to lower himself into the passenger seat. His heart was beating fast since Sasuke had asked him to come to her house. From his experience, if a woman invited a man over it meant she wanted sex. Right?

His thoughts were interrupted when he was slapped in the face by Sasuke's designer bag when she threw it in the passenger seat.

"Stay down and stop moving."

Once she had successfully snuck him into her section of the Uchiha compound, Naruto stretched out his body. He was pleasantly surprised by the interior of her household. It reminded him of a warmer, oriental, more homey version of her office. It also had elements of the entry hall of the MFH building.

"Did you decorate the interior of the Mangekyo Fashion House?"

"I did." Sasuke returned from the kitchen with two wine glasses. She handed him one and gave him an odd, assessing look that made him naked and exposed as if she had some kind of eye power. "Why are you here?"

Naruto blinked. "Because you invited me in."

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Why are you here in Japan?"

"Oh. Right. Well, um, funny story. Let's just say I had a vengeful ex who ruined my career in wildlife photography so I asked Sakura for a favor."

"Why didn't you go to your parents in Europe?"

"I don't know. I'm a grown man. It feels wrong to come crawling back to my parents and-" Naruto stopped. "How do you know my parents live in Europe?"

"I do background checks on people I employ for obvious reasons."

"To make sure I'm not some crazy fan?" Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke didn't smile. "How well do you know Sakura?"

Naruto's own smile faltered slightly. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. His stomach was doing nervous flipflops and something in the back of his mind was nagging at him that he was missing something. Something big and important.

"We've been penpals for a few years. It was a school project or something. We remained friends even after it ended."

"So you talked a lot. You were someone she trusted?"

"Yes?" He replied uncertainly.

"Did she ever share… personal things with you?"

"Like what?"

"Has she ever mentioned anything unusual or behaved strangely these last few weeks? Like a name or a place or even a phone number with which to reach her in case she left?"

"Left for where?" He asked while his mind immediately made a list of everything Sakura had told him and did since he met her in the café. The nagging feeling in the back of his mind became stronger.

She'd lied to him about what she did for a living, telling him that she worked for some upcoming fashion designer, but immediately came clean when he told her the reason for his sudden visit. It was unexpected, but he figured she'd done it in an attempt to impress him and because she was ashamed of her actual job as an assistant.

She had had man over multiple times and, not only refused to tell him who he was, but told him angrily to mind his own business. Even when joked about her getting laid more than him had earned him a vicious glare after which she ignored him for the rest of the day. Which was odd considering the fact that, though her e-mails were not nearly as explicit as his, she was definitely not a prude and had shared some of her sexual encounters.

"She had a man over a few times. She could be staying at his place?" Naruto said, sipping his wine.

Sasuke's face darkened. "What man? What's his name?"

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me. Got mad whenever I mentioned it."

Sasuke put down her glass and mentioned to cushions on the floor. "Take a seat. I need to make a few calls."

Naruto watched her leave towards the kitchen again. He wondered why she was not-so-subtly trying to contact Sakura after firing her mere hours ago. He had a bad feeling. He decided to call her and see if she was alright. He did not expect a male stranger to answer, but he figured it was the lover she refused to discuss.

"Hey, I'm looking for Sakura. Could you hand me over to her?"

"Who?"

Naruto frowned. "Sakura? The woman this phone belongs to. I need to talk to her."

"I don't know who that is, man. I found this phone in the trash at the airport."

"Airport?" Naruto's head was reeling. Sakura left Japan? Without telling him? "Did you happen to see who dropped it in the trash bin?"

"Nah, a buddy of mine happened to hear it buzzing so I took it."

"You should hand it over to the police."

"Fuck you, man." The guy hung up.

What… the _hell_ was going on?

He sat down on one of the fluffy cushions. His mind was no longer nagging. It was screaming. He was missing something. He dropped his head in his hands and began to think.

Sakura behaved strangely whenever Sasuke was involved. He thought it was jealousy at first, but something told him there was more to it than that. Especially after that comment about disappearing and murder while she drove them to work and their body language whenever they were around one another. He had tried to explain the comment away by telling himself it had been a bad joke, but the more he thought about it the more obvious it became that it was something she hadn't intended to say out loud. Which meant there was some truth to it at least.

She was terrified of Uchiha Itachi. Whenever she heard his name she stiffened up like someone was holding a gun to her head. When he had been in Sasuke's office to pick her up, Sakura had been hunching behind her desk as if trying to hide from him. She wouldn't even speak. Instead she wrote him messages through the computer, trying to convince him to stop staring.

She had become increasingly emotional and hectic in the last week. Quick to anger, looking like she was going to burst into tears at any second, mind all over the place as if something was distracting her from reality. She had blamed it on stress and lack of sleep. But was it though?

She was fired a few hours ago, seemingly out of nowhere, and became extremely upset. She was also angry at him for not noticing she'd been fired at first and had stormed out. Now he finds out that she dumped her phone and was most likely on a plane to fuck-knows-where. Could she really have been that angry with him? To just leave without telling him and getting rid of the only thing he could contact her with? It just didn't make any sense.

And then there were other things that just didn't make sense or were just plain weird.

Why would Hatake Kakashi be working for a fashion company? Why had that bushy-browed messenger gone into a rant about rumors concerning the Uchiha siblings, almost as if he wanted him to start looking into it? What was the deal with those rumors anyway? Were they true or not? Why the hell would Sasuke fire Sakura in order to present her with 'better job opportunities' if she knew it was her dream to work in fashion? And why was she not-so-subtly looking for ways to contact her former assistant mere hours after letting her go?

Naruto's body when rigid when the voice in the back of his head was finally coming through to him. It kept on saying a single word over and over and over again.

Yakuza.

000

Sakura hesitantly accepted the cup of tea Kiba offered her, but she was parched and rather grateful that he had bothered to make her something to drink after the grueling interrogation he'd put her through. He had asked her all kinds of questions about Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Neji, Karin, Lee and co-workers she didn't even know where aware of the dark side of MFH. She had never suspected Kakashi of being involved. It made her feel even more powerless.

She wanted to ask Kiba more questions, but her courage had abandoned her. There was a hitman after her life and she didn't want to risk being thrown out of the apartment for getting on his nerves. So she watched him as he played with his dog, typed into his laptop and called about a dozen people.

"What is going to happen to me?" She whispered to herself. Was she going to have to spend the rest of her life in a messy room, fearing for her life and wondering what became of the only friend she had left?

"You scared, bella?" Kiba asked while he rolled another joint.

"Yes." She admitted.

"Of course you are. Is normal. Anyone would be in your position." He glanced at her. "No one is going to hurt you while you here."

"What about Naruto?"

"Can't tell you. Not yet. When Shika comes we will talk about that."

"He's coming?"

"Sí. He'll be here soon."

She never thought she would feel comforted by the fact that a notorious hacker and someone who worked for Itachi was going to come soon.

"You hungry?"

"A little."

"What you want?"

"Doesn't matter."

He gave her another glance as he lit the joint. "I can't promise you everything's gonna be alright, but cowering on our couch like that is not going to help you. Can you cook?"

"…Yes."

"Come, help me. We cook together. Take your mind of things."

She didn't want to. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to go near him because she didn't trust him just yet. She didn't want to cook. There were more important things she could've been doing like… like…

Kiba sighed and walked over to her. He pulled her up by her arm before she could protest and proceeded to drag her towards the kitchen. It was surprisingly clean and, from the looks of it, was used regularly despite the empty packages of takeout she'd seen lying about the living space.

"What are we making?"

"Something quick and easy." He slapped her on the ass. "Let's get cooking!"

She stared at him wide-eyed. She wasn't so much offended as she was amazed at how he could act so casually. Maybe he was too high to understand the seriousness of the situation she was in or maybe he just didn't care. But if he didn't care why would he offer to cook together? He shoved a knife and a cutting board into her hands and before she knew it they were having casual conversations as if she hadn't just found out that someone wanted her dead.

"How did you know you liked men as well as women?"

"I always knew I liked cock and pussy. When I worked for the cartel back in Colombia I would always sneak around. One day my sister caught me with a lover and I was chased out. It was fucking painful to me cause they were my family, you know." The look on his face told her that it still bothered him.

Sakura felt bad for him. "Must've been hard. Can't even imagine what that's like. I don't know what I'd do if my family disowned me. It's horrible."

Kiba chuckled. "Maybe, but if they didn't I wouldn't have Shika now."

"How _did_ you two meet?"

"Oh, you know, he fled to my country to escape FBI when he hacked some military base or something. He was feeling lonely so he bought me for the night cause he thought I was fucking hot. Obviously."

Sakura snorted. "Obviously."

"When he found out I was good at things besides sucking cock he hired me to find a drug lord. This guy owed Itachi a lot of money and went into hiding when he couldn't pay him back. But I found him."

"That's how you fell in love? You caught him a drug dealer after he plucked you off the streets?"

He shrugged. "Who needs flowers and poems when you have guns and drugs?" He laughed at his own joke. "Nah, bella, we worked together for a bit before shit happened, you know. Shika started acting up whenever I took to the streets and stuff. I might've knocked out some big-titted bitch he brought home. I got jealous."

"You punched a woman?"

"She was asking for it. Calling me faggot and shit. The Russian whore. Thought I wouldn't hit her just cause she got a cunt. Fuck that. Would've killed her if it wasn't for her psycho brother."

"Maybe she was hoping Shikamaru would defend her?" Sakura thought as she reminded herself not to piss Kiba off.

"Shika? Ha! He just roll his eyes and drag her back into the elevator. He don't care bout no one."

"He cares about you."

Kiba smirked. "Yeah, he do. So what's up with you and Blondie?"

"Naruto? We're just friends."

"But?"

"But nothing. After all the drama with Sasuke and MFH, he was the only friend I had left."

Kiba raised an eyebrow as he sat down opposite her at the small dining table. He relit the joint he had rolled earlier. "And that's why you won't pursue him?"

"Yeah. What? No, no, no… you tricked me into saying that. He's just a good friend. That's all."

"So you gone let the queen of heartbreak steal him away. Cause you scared he don't wanna be friends when he finds out you want his dick?"

Sakura winced and spluttered. "Not just his dick!"

"So you do want him?"

"… damnit. Maybe. I don't know."

Kiba nodded knowingly. "Still hung up on your boss, huh?"

"Former boss." She corrected sullenly.

"So you bisexual too."

Sakura blinked. "Guess I am. Though Sasuke is the only woman I've ever… you know."

"Fucked?"

"Loved! Why are you so.. could you… could you just not be so… blunt. I'm sensitive to swearwords."

"Wanna know what I'm sensitive to?"

"No." She replied immediately.

"Guess." He said with a wink.

"I'd rather not."

"Starts with 'd'."

Sakura sighed. "Is that all you think about?"

"What? Dogs?"

"Dogs?"

Kiba's smirk widened. "Yeah. Dogs. What were _you_ thinking about?"

Sakura glared at him. It was like having an annoying little brother.

"Stop being so serious. You should laugh more, bella. You're prettier like that." He held out the joint. "Have some."

Sakura considered it.


End file.
